Computer Class
by lostsword
Summary: When you mix a super intelligent alien invader with a bored and video-game addicted human female, there are only a few destinations that all of those roads can lead to...ZAGR. Will Gaz hurt Zim? Definitely. Will Dib put up a fight? Certainly. Will Tak end up in the mix? Without a doubt. Will Gaz's landlord ever hear the end of the noise complaints? Probably not.
1. Chapter 1

**Loading packages.**

It was very early and the room was bathed in darkness, but she didn't care. She loved the darkness; some even said she thrived in it. Plus, she was getting that patch.

** Scanning software.**

** Initiating programs.**

** Preparing Slave System.**

Several soft clicks could be heard as her fingers moved fluidly across the keyboard. A collection of beeps followed as she watched a number of readouts and loading bars flash by.

** Establishing net.**

** Syncing with external servers.**

** Connecting...**

** Connection established.**

She was in.

Her fluid movements increased in activity as a website appeared. The login screen quickly took its place and her software was eating away at its defenses in seconds.

** Running Slave System.**

** Firewall disabled.**

** System trace detected.**

** Proxy disabled.**

** Monitor disabled.**

As the system security finally failed, her sharp eyes focused on the files before her and her hands flew so fast across her keyboard that a sound akin to gunfire could be heard. A soft beeping of a different tune began to blare as her computer recognized and began to attempt to slow down the tracing software.

** System trace: 42%**

** Mainframe accessed.**

** File directory accessed.**

Her breathing—barely noticeable by this point—seemed to stop all together as she typed in the desired words into the directory.

** File located.**

** Downloading...**

A buzz went off as the trace ran past fifty percent and she muttered a swear under her breath as she began to cover her tracks.

** System trace: 67%**

** Downloading...**

** Database accessed.**

** Download: 26%**

** Deleting...**

She bit her lip unconsciously as records and logs began to be purged from the database while her download continued to run at lightening speed.

** Download: 66%**

** Deleting...**

** System trace: 99%**

_Shit._

** Download: 98%**

** Data purge complete.**

** Error found.**

_Damn it!_

** Connection lost.**

"AGHHHH!" Gazelene Membrane roared as the website blacked out and her home screen appeared with the Slave system beginning its shutdown procedures. She wouldn't get in legal trouble of course, her software had erased all of her data signatures.

But she hadn't gotten the patch.

Now she would have to wait until it went up for public download _tomorrow_...

* * *

_Watch the beauty of all our lives passing right before my eyes._

"Ms. Membrane?"

"Hn?"

"Ms. Membrane, would you care to explain the system error displayed on screen three?"

Gaz eyed her professor with the lightest of death stares and the man paled considerably. Her eyes flickered to the screen on the wall at the front of the lecture hall and she snorted.

_I hear the hate in all your words._

"As if I would waste my time on something so simple..." She said scathingly.

_All the words that make us hurt._

Dead silence.

"Ms. Membrane-"

"What the dirt-child means..." A voice rang out like thunder alongside the professors stunned exclamation. "Is that the solution lies within the sub-routine under the fourteenth line on the third section of the data."

More silence.

"Ah..." The professor, like the rest of the room—Gaz included—was left speechless at the uncharacteristic outburst from the universities quietest pupil. "Moving on...we will now begin to go over level input and graphic algorithms prior to starting the design project Friday..."

As the class went on and the teacher droned his students and himself deaf, Gaz found herself thinking of something other than her games.

She was thinking of Zim.

He had certainly changed since he had fist arrived on earth and started those silly fights with her brother all those years ago. His pink dresses—_superior Irken uniforms—_had stopped fitting his rapidly growing frame around middle skool. Unwilling to let them go, Zim had tried to manufacture his own version with supplies from local stores.

A very memorable day of embarrassment after and the alien had sadly come to the tragic realization that his uniforms were a thing of the past.

A simple black suit had come in shortly after; throughout his entire first year of high skool, Zim had been seen in nothing but his black suit with its Irken red shirt and emblazoned black tie. Some had called it attractive, others had called it easy cash.

Gaz clearly remembered the day Dib had been bothering the green creature about global domination plans just before a pair of bullies had shaken them both down for any spare change. Zim had gotten both eyes blackened and lost his jacket.

The next day he had shown up with his freshly cleaned jacket as if nothing had ever happened.

Neither bully was ever seen or heard from again.

Following that particular incident, Zim had started working out in the gym. His exquisite line of black suits had soon been replaced by an equally long line of gym pants and hoodies and sleeveless shirts. Whatever benefits sugars seemed to do to Irkins—she had noticed Zim only ate the deserts in the cafeteria during lunch—protein seemed to do even more wonders.

The once skinny green figure had quickly filled out to the point that accusations were made of Zim taking steroids. He was by no means an Olympian in training, but he had certainly gained large quantities of muscle mass in a rather short time. Dib had rapidly applied at a nearby—and rival—gym in order to remain competitive with his foe after a particular beat down that Gaz still treasured deeply and Dib still saw a therapist for.

Sophomore and Junior year had seen Zim on numerous sports teams as he was brought into the skool social hierarchy. His workout attire had toned down considerably and while still present, Zim had begun to wear open-collared shirts with rolled sleeves and slacks with loafers.

It was no secret to anyone by Zim and Dib's senior year that alcohol had no ill affects on the young man with the 'odd skin condition.' Dib had even informed her that Zim had admitted that on his planet, human-made alcohol was very similar to Irk's form of nutritious drink.

_What a human would give to get healthy off getting wasted_, Gaz mused.

**Message received.**

Gaz drew out of her mental reminiscing and looked down at her computer in surprise—though she hid it well.

**You seem to be very enthralled in the ceiling little Gaz.**

Gaz glared at the screen and typed a reply.

**Creep.**

A momentary pause before a new reply appeared on her screen. Her face colored and she sputtered briefly before closing her laptop in outrage.

"Ms. Membrane, do I need to take executive action to deal with your disciplinary actions?" The professor demanded as he stared at the purple haired female.

Gaz's eyes flashed red.

"Ms. Membrane, you are excused for the rest of class...please tell your aunt I wish her a speedy recovery..." The professor said dully as his eyes also flashed red. The purple haired girl stood up and stormed from her back corner of the room to the middle where Zim was lounging.

"Get. Out."

The Irkin raised an eyebrow.

"Witnesses won't save you. Move!"

Zim grumbled but did as he was told and packed up his things. The humans on either side of him snickered as their friend was being forced to go to his untimely doom. Wiping some of his slightly longer black hair out of his face, Zim followed Gaz out of the class room while the teacher continued to drone on as if nothing had ever happen.

"_Really!?_" Gaz demanded as she shoved Zim against the nearest wall, her face furious and her other arm cocked back and ready to deliver a blow that Thor would envy.

"I thought you would find it amusing," Zim said calmly despite the danger.

Gaz said nothing, but her grip tightened around Zim's collar.

"You _did_ find it amusing!" He hissed in victory as she crushed his wind pipe in outrage while her blush returned in force.

"I. Will. Doom. You." She said, clipped, as her face drew close to his own and her eyes narrowed.

"I find pain to be sexy," Zim teased as he leaned towards her, his own eyes alight with anticipation and glee.

"Fuck you."

Gaz closed the distance and brought her lips to meet her boyfriends in a harsh and brutal collision that slowly toned down to a tender moment. Her hands released Zim's throat and came to rest on his chest while his own hands moved to wrap around her waist and thread through her hair.

The two drew closer to one another as the kiss grew more heated; Zims hand dropped from her waist to grab her ass and she moved a hand to rake through his hair—and subsequently his antennae—while Zim began to move them towards a nearby—and well known—janitors closet.

It had been a freak thing, their relationship.

Dib had gone off to Harvard for a year, but had recently transferred to their father's new University of Science. Gaz had no interest in science, her brother, or any combination of the two; she had gone to a nearby and local college offering a degree in computing.

"You really had to kill my aloof vibe earlier didn't you?" Gaz demanded after Zim finally released her mouth in favor of her neck.

Zim had already been there, studying "a dabbling of aeronautics and a few other simple majors on the side." As far as she could understand, the 'other simple majors' Zim was 'dabbling' in consisted of everything from automotive and engineering to medical and literature. The fully adjusted alien invader was studying every major and minor the college offered in its vast degree catalog.

Among that list was computing.

"I could not help it," Zim said as they crashed into a shelf of cleaning supplies rather roughly and groaned as Gaz let out a deep and _very_ appealing gasp of pleasure. "Zim _loves_ to rile you up." He said with a naughty smirk before returning to her neckline with even more gusto than before.

They had tolerated the others existence at first, but partner projects had rapidly brought the two together until they ended up...well together.

"You-" Gaz let out another '_ahh'_ noise that Zim loved so much, "really just need to leave me alone..."

Gaz _was_ still _Gaz_ of course.

"Really?"

A delicate nip right _there_.

And Zim was _definitely _still _Zim._

"Y-ye-yes you f-freaking alien!" Gaz stammered in half-denial, half-plea as she felt herself fiddling with her pants at the same time.

"You want me to..." His unnatural tongue made a long and curving trail from her neck all the way to her hip, "...leave you alone?"

_"Fuck yes..."_

"What was that my little Gaz?" Zim inquired while lifting his tongue off her body as he grinned so hard that Gaz—if she were in a good mental state—might have wondered if something had torn inside his mouth. All she really noticed was that Zim had already unbuttoned his shirt.

"Don't. Fucking. Stop."

* * *

They were lounging in her apartment later that day, laptops open beside them and a bowl of skittles between them as the television blared some random episode through the surround sound speakers.

"We really should tell Dib at some point," Zim mused as he lazily played with Gaz's hair. The girl grunted into his neck and continued to sneak skittles from the bowl in his lap and up into her mouth.

There had been an unspoken truce between Zim and Dib at some point senior year. A promise to stay out of each others lives and just get through the last few months of their shared education. Their long standing feud had already been dying, Zim's last attempt at world domination had been just before they had left middle skool. After Zim had effectively left Dib's life, her brother had never been the same; at least not psychologically.

"I'll tell him when I can trust him not to have an aneurysm."

Dib still chased after the paranormal, but Zim had been the closest the young scientist had ever come to really dealing with the unnatural. With that route dried up, Dib had slowly begun an evolution of his own accord. His 'online friends' had stopped messaging him until the point came where he had simply deleted his account. His weekly big foot hunts had simmered down until they were replaced with robotics and math club meetings.

"He's your brother."

"Trust me, I'm aware..."

Zim sighed and kissed her forehead, "I just dislike the secrecy," He said at last.

Gaz rose an eyebrow and stared up at him in such a disarmingly attractive way that Zim almost forgot what they were arguing about. "This is coming from an alien who has been hiding on earth for almost two decades?"

"Every time there is a holiday where we can spend a large amount of time together, it is ruined by your brother wanting to see you." Zim actually sounded a bit bitter and upset now as he looked down at his girlfriend. "I want to be with you for your silly Earth celebrations Gaz."

Gaz frowned lightly and offered him her laptop, the Slave system software already open and running. "Get me my patch before its released in ten minutes and I'll consider it."

Zim looked confused, "Why not just wait ten minutes?"

"Because I can't just let you get away with being correct without punishment...now move."

Zim grinned and kissed her before he held up a flash drive that he had been keeping in his pocket. "Zim knows his love well, no?"

Gaz's eyes were _gleaming_.

Zim's face became alarmed. "Gaz-"

She jumped him and the two fell back onto the couch in a heap of flesh as Gaz showed Zim _exactly_ what she thought of his present. A few hours later and Gaz and Zim had just started to drift off on the floor by the couch when Gaz was notified by voice mail that she had a meeting with the complex owner the next day.

Something about twenty seven noise complaints over the past several hours.

_Blue balled bastards..._, Gaz thought cruelly as she curled tighter onto Zim's body. He had already passed out from sheer exhaustion—a vainer part of Gaz enjoyed that fact—and she had no problem using him as her personal pillow.

As she finally drifted to sleep, Gaz was left with one final thought.

_How the hell do I tell Dib?_


	2. Chapter 2

"What if we load a wave program?" Gaz questioned as she and Zim were hunched shoulder to shoulder before their two laptops.

"It could work, but a buffer matrix would be more suitable."

Gaz huffed and loaded her program, purposely ignoring her boyfriends pout as the software they were working on grew closer to completion.

"We still need a few more lines of coding in the earlier sections," Zim reminded her as they began a quick saving and backing up process to ensure their work wasn't lost if the building had a freak power outage.

"You do it," Gaz said in an exaggeratedly sweet tone as she gestured at his laptop while she finished loading and securing the wave data.

"I always do the grunt work," Zim whined as he did as requested and scrolled up the data lines to find the desired sections of text.

"That's because you're the grunt," Gaz teased as she placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed, promising him good things if he behaved.

The two bickered in this fashion every day, even when they had just been two standoffish friends helping one another out in the social spectrum of college. It was their way of bonding, neither were very comfortable with the lovey-dovey actions that other couples showered each other with at any and every opportunity. They still had their moments of sappiness of course—all couples did—but they refrained from over doing it and instead preferred to bicker.

Plus Gaz loved bossing Zim—the almighty _superior_ being—around.

"I'm taking a break," Zim said after he had finished coding task. The collar wearing alien in disguise saved and backed up his work and then loaded up a program that only Gaz had ever seen before. The two were situated in Gaz's back-corner section of the room today for just such an occasion as one of them getting bored with their group project.

Gaz idly kept one eye on Zim's screen while she worked on.

**Scanning software.**

** Initiating programs.**

** Preparing Invader System.**

Gaz rolled her eyes at the name—she really shouldn't though due to her own software's designator—and kept working on the software the couple was currently making. The bulk work was done, which was Zim's main focus, but now it came down to the _finesse_ of the project; that was Gaz's focus.

**Establishing net.**

** Syncing with external servers.**

** Connecting...**

**Connection established.**

"Your net's way too loose," Gaz commented softly as she worked on a section of text.

Zim grunted and left the net the way it was as he began to search for a target of interest. He found it almost immediately and began his hack.

"He never notices, and the automated systems are simple."

Gaz just hummed in half-agreement and focused on her work while watching and waiting for the inevitable camera screen.

**Running Invader System.**

** Firewall disabled.**

** System trace detected.**

** Proxy disabled**

** Monitor disabled.**

** System trace: 45%**

Zim remained unconcerned about the trace and began to type smoothly as Gaz slowly lost interest in her own work.

_What the hell?_

**System trace: -421%**

"How-" Gaz was stunned as the trace began to run backwards on itself. She had never seen _that_ before...

"Zim is ingenious no?" He was _grinning_, damn him. The Irkin gestured at the display on his screen and pointed at a few lines of encrypted text flowing on his command system's dialogue box repetitively. "I merely fooled the scan to run on itself and now it is tracing its own connections in a roundabout circle!"

She wasn't sure if it was her own freakish nature or Zim's unnatural hold over her affections, but she wanted to do several things to the alien that would without a doubt see them removed from the room and possibly even the university itself.

"That's incredible." Gaz said and gave Zim a _squeeze _that almost made her lover double over.

"Y-yes it is." Zim panted, suddenly hating the remaining time in their class—he had been enjoying the leisurely day with Gaz until _now._

**Mainframe accessed.**

** Security files encrypted.**

** Decrypting...**

"He's probably in one of the labs," Gaz commented, still _very _heated as she gazed at the readout.

"True." Zim said, fighting to keep control of himself as he watched the status bar go from left to right. Whenever Gaz got going, he got going; but neither of them could afford to do anything in a classroom of all places.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed several of his football friends smirking at them. They hadn't failed to notice anything.

Damn.

Gaz would kill him if he bragged about her again—which she rightly deserved to be bragged about in his mind—but Zim knew it was bound to happen now.

Double damn.

**Files decrypted.**

** Access granted.**

** Footage loading.**

The couple watched in interest as the security camera footage loaded on a small window on Zim's screen. A high tech lab could be seen and numerous figures in white coats—only one stood out due to his unnaturally scythe like black hair—were scurrying about, working on projects that no doubt could kill them in a second.

Or cooking.

Zim had always claimed that Dib was merely cooking—real science was untouchable by the humans in his mind.

"I'm thinking the heater under those beakers," Gaz commented as she moved closer—if possible—to Zim while returning halfheartedly to her work. She was halfway in his lap, but the former invader had no intention of complaining in the slightest.

"I was actually planning on the fan," Zim countered as he moved slightly so Gaz was more comfortable...and also more securely in his lap.

"Uh huh?" Gaz rolled her eyes, but she allowed him to situate her to his liking—hers as well, but he didn't need to know—while she lazily added in a few more lines of code. The software was almost finished and there was still more than enough time to complete it.

"What about both?" Zim questioned as his eyes lighted up with sudden divine realization. Gaz eyed him briefly before looking at the camera screen and her own eyes ignited in joyfully dark glee.

"That's so _evil!_ I _love _it!" She cackled softly into his arm while nodding her agreement.

* * *

Dib smiled at Amelia, the blonde haired female that had just started a few months ago at the International Science University—only _his_ dad would found a multi-billion dollar facility with only a _single_ major—and was already taking a liking to him.

Things had gone rather well for Dib.

He had been able to leave the 'big-headed' phase of his life behind after a very traumatic three years in the local middle skool. By his freshman year, his body had started to fill out to where his cranium had matched the rest of him proportionately speaking.

That hadn't stopped Zim from reminding him—scathingly—about it on a fairly regular basis. But even Zim had started to fade out of Dib's life by hi skool. They had their occasional brawls and though Zim hadn't—as far as Dib knew—tried to take over the world, there had still been fights over other simple things. Grades, clothing choice, hair; the list went on extensively.

Dib had kept the scientific look about him, though he—like Zim—had calmed down on his outbursts and childlike tantrums. A particularly bad fight that had nothing to do with his life-long nemesis had seen both Zim and himself admitted to the nurse.

He had picked up lifting shortly after.

Girls had started to notice him around senior year, he had certainly begun to notice them with a rapidly increasing lack of Zim in his life. Things had happened, hearts had swelled and been broken; Dib had left his senior year as a more experienced man, but also a more bitter one.

And then there was Amelia.

Dib had been attending his father's university—free of charge of course—for the past few months. He hadn't really had time to meet anyone here other than a few faces he knew from science fairs and any of the competitions that he had participated in back in hi skool. Harvard had certainly been interesting, but ultimately a waste of his time and talents.

Plus they were _all_ a bunch of rich and dumb socialites.

"Can you pass me that beaker Mr. Membrane?" Amelia asked, her blonde hair flowing softly under the influence of the large industrial fan nearby.

"P-please...call me D-Dib,"" He stammered like a fool as he reached for the beaker.

"Okay, _Dib_." She battered her eyes while saying this as she eyed his figure bashfully.

Dib was entranced.

VROOOOOOOOOM!

Dib yelped in pain as his hand made contact with the super-heated beaker just as the fan kicked up to full power. The bubbling liquid in the tube shot out like traitorous minions and Dib watched in horror as the substance was blasted forward by the malfunctioning fan.

"_AIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHH!_" Amelia roared in pain, sounding very similar to someone being burned alive as she ran around the room like a lion unleashed in the middle of Detroit. Glass shattered, metal clanged, and alarms went off as the room fell into chaos.

* * *

Gaz and Zim sat in the back of their classroom in stunned silence. The entire lab was ruined and four students had been sent off to the hospital. Dibs little girlfriend seemed to have taken the worst of the blow, her hair had started to fall like powder from her head. Dib himself was in the dean's office being scolded about his actions; everything was being blamed on his actions.

"That..." Gaz began slowly, her eyes on her brother being yelled at due to their actions.

"Was..." Zim followed, his own fake eyes wide at the catastrophe they had caused.

"_Awesome._" They said together, twin grins spreading out across their faces.

"Did you see the Dib-stink's _face!?_" Zim fake-screamed in humor.

"And that _girl_ he was eye-fucking!" Gaz giggled evilly as she mimed losing her hair. "She'll probably _kill_ Dib!"

"Oh we can only hope! This was a good day no?" Zim chuckled as he backed out of the camera footage—he was certain to save copies of the data before destroying the originals—and then made his way into the record logs.

"A _very_ good day," Gaz agreed as she nipped Zim's throat. She _really_ needed to get out of the classroom right now.

They were already borderline demanding an eviction from the room as it was.

**Data purge complete.**

Zim grinned and backed out of ISU's mainframe and returned to the data coding of their software project just as the professor appeared before them, his tubby face slightly sweaty from the long walk up the stairs.

"Ms. Membrane, Mr. Irken, do I need to get campus security to remove you two?"

Gaz withheld—though it took _great_ effort—a rather earth-shattering face-palm at Zim's stupid last name. He had needed one to be accepted into the middle skool system and even then Gaz had thought it stupid. Now she just _knew_ it was stupid, but allowed it to pass due to her love just _always _being stupid.

"No," Zim said simply as he turned his laptop around for the tubby human to see, "we were simply excited to have finished our project before any of our classmates."

The professor eyed the data before him and at Zim personally before gesturing behind him.

"Your classmates left over thirty minutes ago..."

"Ah."

* * *

Dib swore creatively as he received yet another voice mail on his answering machine. Someone trying to sue the shit out of him again.

He hadn't even _done_ anything!

Things had gone _really_ bad after the lab-disaster of the century had gone down. Dib would have been expelled if he weren't the son of the world's most brilliant scientist. He almost certainly would have gone to trial—if not outright jail—for the blunder of all blunders.

The lab damage was in the millions and though Dib had been assured by his father that it was all 'in the name of science,' he knew that it would be a long time before anyone let him forget the damage. Aside from the building damage, Dib had managed to seriously injure four students and cause dozens of minor injuries.

Three of the four had been left with very serious—but concentrated—burns. The fourth student—Amelia-had suffered the worst of the gooey projectile assault. Her entire head and a good bit of her upper body had been burned. She only had a few thin strands of her once beautiful golden hair left and Dib had been told that it would take months for it to regrow anywhere near 'acceptable standards.'

In short, his love life was right back at square one; only now girls were even afraid to talk to him for fear of flying, burning goop.

It was like middle school all over again.

Dib had decided to take the rest of the semester off—possibly the year—and had instead decided to go back home and rest off his international incident in the relative peace of his home town.

Besides, it would be nice to give Gaz a surprise visit.

* * *

"Shut up!" Gaz complained as she mashed buttons and slayed digital monsters.

"_I_ _told you_!" Zim sang brokenly as he waved the paper before Gaz a few days later. The grade was impressive, a solid one hundred with three pluses added next to it. The design was solid and the expert craftsmanship had been praised.

But it had been 'noted' that while it was really not gradable, a buffer matrix would have been more suitable for the software than a wave program.

Gaz had been _livid_.

Zim had thrown a party.

Here they were—late Saturday evening—cooling off from the work week with a long and expensive dinner at Bloaties followed by dollar night at the local arcade. Gaz really needed both things to prevent herself from murdering Zim while he was on his gloating spree.

Zim just needed a way to slowly work off the alcohol. He might not get sick or suffer any kind of negative after-affects from his excessive consumption of the samples of the brewery, but the massive intake of vitamins that he got from drinking still left him sluggish like any world class drunk.

Game over flashed across Gaz's screen and she scowled until 'new high score' followed it and the scowl switched to a smirk. Zim smiled happily—apparently having calmed down a bit—and wrapped his arms around her waist before leaning down to kiss her softly.

"You are the best," he whispered in her ear and she turned _just_ the lightest shade of red.

"Shut up."


	3. Chapter 3

It was date night.

Zim and Gaz were draped over each other on the couch, dozens of half empty pizza boxes and alcoholic bottles surrounded the couch—their game slaves were held loosely in their hands—while the television showed a continuous shot of an angry monkey that provided Gir no end of entertainment—and thus kept the mangy robot-terrier off of them.

"I worry about him sometimes," Gaz commented of Gir's antics as they waited for the autosave on their game to finish.

"I gave up years ago," Zim admitted as their screens flashed and the level began.

The two fell into a comfortable silence as they played through Gaz's all-time favorite game. Vampire Piggy had released numerous sequels, prequels, and remasterizations, but in the purple haired goth's opinion, the original would always reign supreme.

The soft hiss and swish of bladed weapons and the pop and clack of automatic weapons could be heard through the tiny speakers in both of the game slaves. The noise was soothing to the pair and after shifting into a more comfortable—and intimate—stance, Gaz found herself falling into the Zone rather quickly.

"Pigs on the second floor," Zim all but whispered as they worked as a team to push through the apartment complex and deal with the vampiric creatures. Zim was more of an automatic fanatic, whereas Gaz specialized more in bladed death. Individually they had their own advantages and flaws, but combined they were an unbelievably deadly combination

"Going left." Gaz muttered and swung her character towards the left side of the room they had entered in. Zim's avatar ran right and they quickly cleared the room of the porklings intent on sucking their lifeblood.

The level soon flew by and though it grew harder as they progressed, the couple completed the final level yet again. The boss pig had barely stood a chance and soon 'new high score' was flashing across the two tiny screens in their hands.

"Another go?" Zim questioned as he felt Gaz lean into him lightly.

"No," Gaz craned her head towards him and kissed his ear softly, "I have something else in mind."

Her voice was _sin._

Zim panted softly and felt her turn completely so that she straddled his hips. Before he had a chance to voice a word Gaz had started to grind against him as she leaned down to suck the life from his lips.

The Irken groaned deeply and bucked up against his lover as he returned her lip-lock fiercely.

"I think I like this better," Zim moaned.

"I still expect a new high score," Gaz teased as she grabbed his antennae _hard._

Zim didn't consciously remember shoving Gaz onto the coffee table in front of the couch. What he _did_ remember was her gasping in such a pleasant way that he picked her back up and slammed her back onto the table.

"In. Now." Gaz demanded hazily, her eyes wide with lust as she reached down and dropped her pants easily.

Zim wasn't religious, but he praised any and every deity he could think of for inspiring a human to create yoga pants.

* * *

There was no way, as far as Dib could figure, that the night could get any worse.

His car had broken down—just after he had gotten a fresh battery _and _the yearly inspection—halfway through his journey.

On a deserted section of the road.

With not a spec of civilization around for miles.

And of course the rain had started to pour just after the engine had died. This of course had to happen right before the power died and the convertible's roof could be brought up. Instead of sitting in a semi-warm car and waiting for a tow-truck, Dib was left in a flooded and ruined car worth more than ISU's substantial student fee's.

When the truck _did_ show up—an _hour_ late—Dib was soaking wet and miserable. All of his electronics were fried by that point and since he carried no cash—who _did_ in this century?—the tow-truck company had impounded his vehicle until he could pay.

This would have been fine if Dib had been in the mood to hunt down an ATM. Instead, he had foolishly stormed home only to realize the electronic key was fried and the physical one was locked in the car.

Swearing up an even worse storm, Dib had tried every house on the street, but sadly either no one was home or they were unwilling to answer the door to a raving and smelly man swearing at them at two in the morning.

Out of options, Dib—who was thoroughly soaked and miserable now—footed it all the way to the local college Gaz attended. It took hours and he was stopped three times by the local police who made no move to help him reach the campus but were all but religiously motivated to demand to know his motive for being out and about after midnight.

After an age and then some, Dib arrived at Gaz's campus and was forced to repeat himself three times to a number of campus security officials before he was allowed onto the grounds. They escorted him all the way to the female dormitory doors and told him he had ten minutes to get a key and get out or they would come up and get him.

Yeah, like Gaz would be that quick to help him at four in the morning.

Dib reached Gaz's door and tentatively knocked on the wooden surface as if the very molecules were going to vaporize him for disturbing her rest. He received no answer and he swore in kind; however, his hand became a fist and he knocked again.

The door remained shut.

Damn it.

In the middle of Dib's third attempt, the door swung open and Gir—still clad in his dog suit—opened the door in sluggish surprise.

"BIG HEAD!" He exclaimed in half-conscious joy as the robot shot forward and wrapped itself around his legs.

_DAMN IT ALL IT'S NOT BIG!_, Dib ranted in his head as he stared at the robot in confusion. He could have sworn this was Gaz's room and that he was in the girls dormitory. But Gir proved there had to be some mistake. Unless he had run away from Zim and hid with Gaz like he had freshman year after the legendary waffle incident.

Dib would never look at tuna the same after that.

"Gir?" Dib questioned, trying to make sense of the robot's presence.

"BIG HEAD!"

Damn it.

"Why are you here?" Dib asked as he quickly entered the apartment for fear that the campus police would come up and kick him out at any minute, house key or no house key.

"I'm waiting for master!" The robot cried happily as he went back to a small nest of clothes he had made for himself by the television.

_The angry monkey show is still kicking?_ Dib thought in surprise as he eyed the curled up piece of Irken technology.

Hold the fuck up.

Was that Zim's shirt entangled in Gaz's bra?

Not that _he_ knew what her bra looked like...

"M-master?" Dib questioned in surprise, fear clutching at his paranoid mind. "Zim's coming to pick you up?"

"Nu-uh!" Gir giggled as Dib felt something drop in his stomach.

"Then-"

The night had definitely just gotten worse.

"He's sleepin' with Mistress!" Gir pointed towards a doorway nearby and giggled like a child.

Oh _fuck_ no.

_FUCK_ NO.

Dib stared at the door in horror.

Zim couldn't...she _wouldn't_...

As if to defy him and the universe at large, the door opened softly and Zim—clad only in a pair of cotton draw-string gym pants—entered the room. Yawning heavily, the shirtless Irken walked into the open kitchen and began to start up the stove while pulling out two coffee cups and a large bottle of jäger from the small above the microwave.

"Oh, Dib-stink?" Zim mumbled, not awake, as he reached up and drew a third coffee cup off a hanging rack. "Do you take jäger with your coffee?"

Zim was in Gaz's apartment.

Zim was shirtless.

Zim had bite marks _everywhere_.

Zim was in Gaz's room.

Zim was sleeping with his sister.

Zim was fucking Gaz.

Zim fucked his sister.

Zim fucked his sister.

Zim fucked his sister.

Zim fucked his sister.

_Fucking Zim fucking fucked his fucking sister._

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Dib cried and charged the alien in outrage, his face a dark purple-black.

Zim was obviously still very much asleep; Dib's right hook hit him with absolutely no resistance. Zim flew backwards like a ragdoll and his head smashed into the coffee cup rack. The ceramic cups shattered like gunshots in the quiet night.

Zim woke up immediately after that and dodged Dib as he tried to drive his elbow into the alien's chest. The groggy creature rapidly shook his head and dodged another attack, however he was now on the other side of the island and Dib had drawn a kitchen knife the size of Gir.

"I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Dib roared and charged his former nemesis.

"Dib calm the fuck down!" Zim cried as he ducked the first and then the second knife swipe before crying out as Dib caught him in the arm with the sharp blade.

"DIE YOU FUCKING ALIEN BASTARD! DIE!" Dib roared and drove the blade straight down, however Zim shoved his head to the side and the blade merely embedded deep into the floor—effectively rendering it useless in the fight.

WHAM!

Zim flew into the floor just as he tried to sit up as Dib nailed him with a deftly planted left hook. The alien rolled away from a second attack, but the human managed to tackle him and quickly began to knock the living shit out of Zim like it was easy.

"G-"

WHAM!

"-IR!"

WHAM!

"SAVE-"

WHAM!

"-YOUR-"

WHAM!

"-MASTER!"

"Monkey!" Gir cried happily, fully entranced in the show.

_Damn it!_

Dib might have actually managed to kill the former invader; Zim might have possibly gotten the upper hand and restrained Dib.

Gaz just punched him in the head so hard that he flew into the couch.

"Gaz!? The _hell_!?"

"You. Are. Fucking. Dead." Gaz said coldly as she advanced on her brother, furious at his reckless assault and waking her at this hour and concerned for her lover's health.

"G-G-Gaz?" Dib cringed, awaiting to be thrown into the terrible nightmare world.

The portal opened.

Gaz's eyes glowed.

"Miss?"

Everyone turned to see a trio of campus security by the door. The uniformed men paid no attention to the robot curled up in the corner, the alien dripping green blood, or the girl with the hellish portal floating behind her.

They just glared at Dib.

"Sorry about this trash miss, he came barging in claiming to be related to you." The lead officer said as he advanced on the thoroughly overwhelmed Dib.

"Never seen him." Gaz claimed emotionlessly.

The guards moved in to apprehend Dib.

"G-Gaz!" Dib cried out as they began to drag him towards the door.

"He tried to rape me and beat up my boyfriend, he's a student too!" Gaz added with a cold glare at her brother as the officer nodded.

"_GAAAZ_!"

"Come on you, you're in a heap of trouble!"

The door slammed shut and Zim, clutching his arm, glanced up at her with a loving smile.

"I love you."

"I know." Gaz said before sighing and sitting down next to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah...I guess he knows now."

"Yeah."

Silence.

WHAM!

"_OW! _What the _HELL?_!"

"That's for being a wimp and not hitting him."

"_You _told _me_ not to hit him!"

"Meh."

* * *

Hours later, Dib was released from his holding cell after Gaz and Zim had finished their lunch and stopped by to collect her scythe haired sibling.

"Gaz?" Dib asked, eyes squinting through the harsh sunlight—and a black eye—as he was led outside to see his sister and...Zim...standing beside Gaz's jeep.

"Get in. Shut up." Gaz commanded as she and Zim got in the front of the jeep. Dib, left with no other choice, got in as well. Gaz peeled out the second he stepped foot inside and he barely had the door shut before they left the police station.

"G-"

"Zim and I have been seeing each other for awhile. We go to the same college. I care about him a lot and you're not allowed to hurt him. That's all you need and will know about us." Gaz stated swiftly and coldly as she drove wildly through the downtown streets.

Despite it being in the middle of a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon, not a single cop car chased after the obviously speed limit-defying vehicle.

"H-how can you-"

"I love him Dib. Stop asking questions and accept it." Gaz stated with steel in her voice.

"_L-love_!?" Dib cried in terror and pain.

"I see your memory has not gotten any better with time, Dib-stink." Zim commented dryly as he eyed his former foe through the rear view mirror. Dib briefly caught sight of a thickly padded gauze strip around Zim's arm under his shirt sleeve.

"_You!_" Dib cried and stared at Zim with a deep seated hate, "What's the goal this time Zim!? Domination? Conquest!?"

Zim grinned at him in such an animalistic way that Dib drew back in stunned surprise. "Yes, but not in any way _you_ will ever know."

Wha...what the fuck?

"Zim, stop being an ass. Dib, stop acting like you're my concerned brother. You'll never be either."

"Oh so I'm not just '_a piece of hot ass_'? You certainly thought I was _last night_," Zim questioned while winking evilly at Dib as Gaz glared at her boyfriend in distaste.

"WHAT THE _HELL_ GAZ!?"

"Zim, you're on Gir duty." Gaz said calmly as she stopped her car at last. The alien looked at her in horror, but she simply hopped out of the car and tossed him the keys. "Come on Dib."

"NOOOO!"

"Gaz?" Dib asked as he got out and ran after her towards their old home.

"Come on." She said after unlocking the door and walking inside. The house was virtually untouched; they only came here for family night now, ISU did not have 'unneeded holiday breaks' and Gaz just stayed over at Zim's during the holidays that were not briefly spent with Dib.

Gaz calmly sat down in the living room and gestured upstairs, "go shower and change. You stink."

"No. Tell me what's going on with you and Zim!" Dib demanded.

"I'm dating him. He's not your enemy and he isn't trying to take over the world. Stop freaking out over it like a girl." Gaz stated coldly and Dib glared at her.

"Gaz he's just using you, can't you see that!?"

BAM!

Dib squealed—just like a girl—as he flew backwards into the stairs while clutching his face tenderly. Gaz had definitely broken something with that punch.

"If you try to be annoying about all of this and claim he's still an evil alien bent on enslaving mankind, I. Will. End. You."

"Why Gaz?" Dib muttered weakly as he stared in terror up at her. Her eyes softened and her fists uncurled as she stared down at him.

"Because he cares...he really cares." She said in such a vulnerable way that Dib wondered if he could have done something to stop this from happening. Had he pushed her into his enemy's arms? Was he to blame?

"All you care about is Zim." Gaz said coldly, seeing his thoughts clear as day. "I'd like to catch up Dib, but if you can't chill out, don't even bother."

With that, Gaz left the living room—and a smelly, half moldy Dib—and hailed a taxi to take her home.


	4. Chapter 4

Aside from Family Night, Thanksgiving was Gaz's favorite day out of the year.

What little family she did have made the annual pilgrimage to her Aunt Lauren's home; there were people from the west, the east, the south, and the north. International flights were booked, long distance road trips were planned, and numerous hotels were scouted for the Membrane gathering.

Though there would be numerous people that had known Gaz her entire life for the three day event. The Membrane's were an extraordinary group of people after all. Everything from astronauts to international athletes; from practicing magicians to lion tamers; from government agents to weapons designers; there was even the age old lawyers all the way to the clic00hé doctors.

However, the only person out of all the odd little gathered crowd that the purple haired goth truly cared to see was her father. Professor Membrane rarely made time for his family, let alone his children. However even he was pulled into the traditional food-laden holiday.

Plus the government _claimed_ it was inhuman to force his employees to work up to fourteen hours in the lab with no breaks of any kind—it was all in the name of _science_ of course—while the rest of the country shut down.

Gaz shifted uncomfortably within herself as yet another family member tried to give her a 'I-fake-miss-you-so-much' hug before turning away at Gaz's death glare.

_No one _touched her.

Well..._almost _no one.

Dib had taken her relationship with Zim as well as could be expected. He had only bothered her about it another forty-seven times—plus stalked them on their dates for a full two months—along with being a general, all around, uptight pain in her ass.

Zim had been sweet and found ways to cheer her up regardless.

Sadly her green skinned lover was _not_ present to keep her ever bleak mood in check.

"Every year I think this will get better, only it really gets worse."

Gaz rolled her eyes at Dib's attempt at starting civil conversation; a jet train hitting a fuel dump would have been easier to miss.

"If you really think I'll let you bother me about Zim all night and over the course of the next two days, I'll just lock you in the closet again." Gaz warned as Dib shuddered in fear—and a brief flashback of when they were eight—before she and Dib walked through the massive hallways of their aunt's home.

People they had grown up around—but never grown up _with—_waved and exchanged the expected social pleasantries.

Dib shook hands and traded hugs; Gaz glowered and avoided all contact.

Only two people in all existence commanded her attention, and she knew she wouldn't see one for several days and she doubted she would see the other until after his plane landed tomorrow.

The bulk of the family had landed the day before and were currently unloading into a number of hotels and inns around the local area that Aunt Lauren lived in. Those that had arrived early or didn't have excess baggage—living or non—had already congregated at the large ranchesque estate that their widowed aunt called home.

Her father, being her father, had opted to remain at the lab until early the following morning and fly across the country in his private jet.

Yes, the Professor was certainly pulled into the holidays.

Gaz sighed and finally grew beyond the point of simply being tired of the endless cycle of meeting and greeting with people she didn't care to meet in general or greet in particular. She loved thanksgiving for two reasons and neither reason involved people. The gamer within her loved both the high level and quantities of food—and yes there would be junk food after the _traditional_ supper—and the girl within the woman deeply and greedily desired time with her father.

She got almost the entire day with him last year and it would be the same this year if she had anything to say about it.

"So Gaz," one of her cousins said before Gaz could make a retreat—eyeing her fearfully, but curiously—as she played with her dress, "do _you_ have a boyfriend?"

Gaz opened her mouth-

"NO!" Dib roared unintentionally drawing every eye in the room to the Membrane heirs as he flushed deeply.

Go figure Dib would do or say something stupid an hour after landing.

"I-"

Gaz felt her leg vibrate as her phone registered her receiving a new text; most likely from Zim based on the buzzing pattern. Reaching into her jeans, she withdrew the device and after checking the screen, she confirmed it was in fact Zim.

_I am almost in, little Gaz :P_

She swore roundly at the sudden information—causing one elderly lady to faint and several of the younger girls to freeze in shock—and bolted for the guest room her aunt had provided her. She had to get to her laptop and _fast_.

That little Napoleon-mimicking bastard!

Gaz tore into her room—being sure to lock the door of course—and dug through her small inventory of bags for her laptop. By the time she had opened it and begun the boot up and log in procedures, she learned that Zim was in fact telling her the truth.

**Firewall disabled.**

** System trace enabled.**

** Proxy disabled.**

** Slayer Program running.**

** Monitor disabled.**

** Invader Software: 88%**

Zim must have purposely have waited until he was almost finished hacking her computer to inform her of his little prank. The time frame she was working with to fend off his own software and trace him back was so short that she, in truth, did have a chance at pulling it off.

It just wasn't that great.

But Gaz lived to defy the impossible.

**Preparing packages.**

**Scanning software.**

** System trace: 40%**

** Initiating programs.**

** Preparing Slave System.**

Gaz's hands flew across the keyboard as she slipped into her gaming zone; she was the epitome of collection and calm. The ultimate weapon as her digital defenses exploded around her and Zim's attacks slowly came to a halt.

** Establishing net.**

** Syncing with external servers.**

** Connecting...**

** Connection established.**

** System trace: 79%**

** Running Slave System.**

As her slayer data worm ripped through Zim's firewalls and electronic counter-measures, Gaz began to load her own software into his home computer.

**Handshake accepted.**

** Password accepted.**

** GIR trojan procedures running.**

** Invader Software: 98%**

Gaz waited a minute as her backdoor link connected and her software slipped in, after that it was a cake walk.

**Invader Software isolated.**

** System trace: 92%**

** Software eliminated.**

** System trace complete.**

** Data purge initiated...**

** Purge complete.**

Gaz watched the unfolding digital events like a string of awesome explosions going off, each one larger and bigger than the last. Zim—wearing a stunned expression she hoped—had to be staring at his computer in-

**Error.**

** Error.**

** Error.**

The fuck?

**System error.**

** Program error.**

** Shutting Down...**

Gaz watched in muted horror as her laptop flashed a black screen before attempting to restart.

**Rebooting...**

** Reboot failed.**

** Error.**

** Error.**

** Error.**

Gaz groaned in disgust and attempted to shut off her computer, only for the action to have no immediate effect on the operating system.

Then a long string of code flashed across her screen before something even _worse_ appeared.

**VICTORY FOR ZIM**.

Below the large emboldened text sat a massive pixelated icon of the Irken imperial symbol.

"Fuck!" Gaz complained as she shut the laptop closed and angrily placed it back in one of her bags.

"That sounds like an _excellent_ idea to _me_."

Gaz froze.

"Well, aren't you going to convince me to unlock your pathetic human device?" The teasing mirth in his voice, coupled with the fact that she knew he had personally crafted her laptop, _almost_ made her anger simmer.

But she was _Gaz_.

"You're _not_ supposed to be _here_!" She snapped as she turned and glared up at the alien.

"Ah, but the greatness that is Zim could not _bear_ to remain without the _beauty_ that is his Gaz-pig." Zim crooned as he took a step closer to her—unknowingly causing her body to heat up in anticipation.

Gaz had quickly learned that while Zim was annoying as all hell, his loud and dramatic manner of speech _really_ made a girl feel good about herself. Especially when she was all but worshiped on hand and foot by 'the greatest military warrior to ever grace the galaxy with his very amazing presence.'

"Shut up. You _know_ better!" Seeing him here in the house of loneliness and boredom was almost too much. She had missed him damn it and here he was as if by magic!

"I missed you," Zim said softly as he took another step closer and cupped her cheek with one of his hands.

Fuck it.

Gaz took a step closer herself and bridged the distance between them as her lips came crashing down on Zim's own.

/

Dib couldn't find Gaz anywhere.

He had searched every lounge, every kitchen, every nook, and certainly every cranny; however, he had yet to find his purple haired sister.

He was beginning to worry.

"Hello Dib!" Aunt Lauren, the brave host of the odd festival-carnival that was the Membrane gathering as she walked towards her brother's son.

"Hi Aunt Lauren!" Dib said half-aware as he looked around the room in a borderline panic.

"Looking for someone?" His aunt questioned as she examined her nephew in slight concern.

"I-I seem to have lost my sister, have you seen her?"

"Oh!" His aunt pointed down the hall...towards the guest wing and where Gaz and he had been given rooms. "She ran to her room a little while ago."

Dib swore.

Aunt Lauren gasped in shock.

"Of _course_!" Dib complained as he berated himself and ran down the hall, leaving his stunned relative to wonder what her brother was thinking when it came to 'raising' children. He had certainly had extraordinary results.

Dib barreled down the hallway and came to a stop outside Gaz's room. Not one to pursue an early and _extremely_ unpleasant death, Dib knocked briefly and then proceeded to wait for Gaz's monotone grunt of approval before he walked inside.

He heard nothing, so he knocked again.

And again.

And _again_.

"Gaz?" Dib questioned as he tried the door.

It opened.

Dib immediately regretted it.

"_Fuck_ Zim!" Gaz groaned as she rolled her head backwards violently and her fists clenched even tighter against the knots of bedspread held tight within.

His sister was laying on her back on the bed while her legs hung off one side, the 'former' invader was on his knees before her, his head nestled between her shapely thighs. Neither was fully dressed and garments of clothing belonging to both Gaz and Zim were strewn about the room.

Yep. Traumatic mental therapy sessions had just gone _way_ up for Dib.

_Waaaaaaay_ up.

The sight was so terrible Dib's mind simply shut down and he fell backwards out of the bedroom as if a bomb had gone off inside.

This was _so_ much worse the second time around...

"SERIOUSLY!? _AGAIN_!? DIB GET THE _FUCK_ OUT OF _MY_ ROOM!" Gaz roared in both fury and humiliation as she glared at the wooden door. The door immediately slammed shut with a loud and resounding bang—leaving several hellish cracks in the woodwork—before the locking mechanism engaged with a deep resounding click.

"Well...as you humans say...shit." Zim said simply as he stared at the now closed door where the Dib-stink had previously stood, mouth agape and eyes blank in horror.

"_This_ is why you don't get to come to these things!" Gaz complained, infuriated at her brother and what was likely to happen within the next hour.

Dib would go and blab to either her aunt or her father, both were just as likely to send Zim packing _and_ give her a lecture—the latter being the more painful in her opinion, despite her disdain for the former—and then everything would just be awkward. Not that she particularly cared if she offended anyone, but causing a scene would make Thanksgiving even worse than it normally was for her.

Sighing, Gaz rose from the bed—to her disdain, her legs wobbled and threatened to buckle—and went to the door...with Zim's assistance. Both the human female and the Irken gathered their cloths and dressed as well as they could in an attempt to mask their most recent activities.

When Gaz opened the door, she found a number of people crowded outside—most of them older and giving her concerned looks—looking down at a comatose Dib. The scion of the Membrane family was sporting an almost comical wide-eyed and vacant looking stare while mumbling unintelligible words in a haunted manner.

Gaz just sighed and her eyes flashed red.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Dib cried as his body convulsed briefly before he blinked heavily. "What the _hell_ Gaz?!"

"You were stuck in a nightmare world," Gaz said casually as she eyed her brother, daring him to say a single _word_ about what he had seen. Her tone threatened an immediate return trip if he did dare to breath such treachery.

"Uh...thanks?"

"Gaz...uh, who's your...friend?" One of Gaz's aunts asked as the group turned their eyes towards the green skinned man she was currently leaning heavily on. As they took in his appearance, they also noted the soft matching blushes on the pair's faces.

Gaz groaned in her head and promised to set Dib on fire later.

"This is Zim...my boyfriend."


	5. Chapter 5

Gaz groaned sleepily and rolled over onto Zim; the alien snorted—Gaz would _never_ admit it, but she found it cute when he did that—and pulled her tight to his chest, fully enveloping her in his massive frame.

The couple was currently buried deep in a fortress of blankets and pillows in a somewhat vain attempt at escaping the freezing cold temperatures that had invaded the ranch house. The weather report had claimed that conditions would improve by noon, but at eight in the morning, there was little in the way of warm weather to be found.

The alarm had been blaring for the past ten minutes, but Gaz was still in denial about the morning having come. She was perfectly content to remain burrowed deep within Zim's arms and her pillow fort.

It was ironic in a way, she mused, that she had been looking forward to seeing her father so much yesterday and now she dreaded it more than anything.

Her father knew about Zim.

Her father was coming to the ranch today.

Her brother had been the one to tell her father.

Heaven help her.

Things had gone as smooth as could be expected after Gaz had revealed her 'new' boyfriend to her family. The older ones—mostly the old hags...er her grandmothers—had been guardedly skeptical of such a man; the younger ones—her cousins—had either been mildly interested, openly disgusted, or blandly disinterested; the middle ground—her aunts and uncles—had been mostly open to Zim, but had leaned more on the cautious side than anything else.

Aunt Lauren had been particularly dumbstruck when Gaz had calmly explained that Zim was staying in her room. Marital customs be damned, she wasn't going to sleep alone if she had to put up with her weird-ass family and the now extremely awkward situation she had found herself in.

Now she just had to deal with her dad. He was due at the house in about an hour—not that she was counting down the minutes...or seconds—and she had no idea how to try and spin her relationship with Zim to him.

"We really should get ready," Zim muttered softly as he nuzzled Gaz's neck in a comforting manner. It wasn't lustful or needy, it was just a gentle reminder that he was there and he was willing to help her with whatever troubled her.

Forever and always.

"I don't want to." Gaz would _murder_ anyone—Dib included and especially after yesterday—if they saw her in such a pitifully weak state. Zim was, in more than one situation, the exception to this.

"You love seeing your father-unit. He will be here shortly. We should get ready."

"You just want to see me naked," Gaz teased halfheartedly as she pulled Zim closer and inhaled his scent.

"I do _love_ seeing you naked," Zim agreed with a pleasurable purr in his voice that did things to Gaz's insides that she really didn't need them doing right now. "But I love seeing you happy even more. We'll take a shower, freshen up, and get dressed so that we can entertain your terrifying family." Zim assured her as he began to dismantle their warm bunker.

"_We_?" Gaz questioned as she felt the first wave of cold air hit them—even with the house's superb insulation and heating system, the room was ice cold.

"I _did_ say I love seeing you naked," Zim teased as his girlfriend whacked him gently...at least for her.

He waited until she had entered the bathroom to rub the bruise she had left on his shoulder.

* * *

Gaz stood next to Zim on the porch of the ranch house as the small convoy of cars pulled up into the drive way. The alien had opted for a collared shirt with khakis and a pair of loafers as his initial state of dress for the upcoming meeting with his love's father. Gaz was still attired in her normal gothic attire with a gray tee, a dark jacket, dark skinny jeans and matching steel boots.

The lead car pulled off to the side and parked; her father was sitting in the passenger seat and after patting her brother on the shoulder affectionately, he opened the door and made his way towards the house. Behind him, people began to exit their own vehicles as well while several of her father's robo-employees unloaded his luggage from Dib's car.

"Daughter!" Professor Membrane cried happily as he strode up the steps easily and pulled the smaller human into a tight bear hug.

Gaz hugged her father back and briefly felt the warmth that came with being with her father despite the tense air that hung over their heads.

"Hi dad."

"I see Dib's foreign friend is here this year!" Her dad said as she released his daughter and shook Zim's hand all in one motion.

"Yeah, has-"

"Not now Gazelene, I have to greet your grandmothers or else I'll be locked in the study like _last_ year!"

With that, her father sped off to greet the elderly women waiting for him in the main living room, dare he repeat the previous Thanksgiving's quarantine within the ranch home.

"W...wha..." Dib said meakly as he stared in defeat at the retreating back of his father. He had been _so_ sure that his father would lay into Gaz and..._Zim_ and that the foul creature would be forced to part ways from his sister and end their _disgusting_ relationship. He had even briefly hoped that Zim would finally be revealed for what he was.

It seemed, however, that this was not the case.

"Humanity's ignorance wins again, _Dib_." Zim teased while Gaz continued to stare after her father, unsure how to feel about his reception.

"Damn you!" Dib swore as he glared at the alien.

"Language!" Uncle Richard—not the clone, but the one who was working on nuclear fish—scolded as he glanced at the young children playing on the lawn nearby.

Grumbling, Dib was joined by Gaz and Zim as the rest of the adults went inside. There, they found the Professor greeting numerous family members in his rapid manner just as he had with Gaz.

At least he wasn't partial to anyone.

"So, how has school been?" Professor Membrane asked some time later after things had calmed down and he had found time to sit down with Gaz. Zim was beside her and Dib sat across from all three, his eyes burrowing hawkishly into the pair and glancing at his father periodically.

"It's okay; I get through it somehow, despite my professors." Gaz smirked slightly and felt Zim chuckle beside her.

"They have professors in elementary school now?"

Gaz resisted the urge to face palm.

"Dad...I'm in college." Gaz said slowly as she saw the confused look he was giving her from behind his goggles switch to enlightenment.

"Ah, of _course_! That _would_ explain the rather lofty—and, might I add, random—bills I keep receiving. I had just tallied it up to Dib leaving the light on in the bathroom again..."

Dib _did_ face palm.

"So what brings your little foreign friend here Dib?" Professor Membrane asked, curious.

"He's-" Gaz began, only for Dib to interrupt her.

"Gaz's dating him!" Dib cried childishly in disgust and horror. "I told you at the airport, _dad_! Gaz is having an inappropriate relationship with...with an _a-alien_!"

Professor Membrane frowned deeply and looked from Gaz to Dib, to Zim, and then back at Gaz. The purple haired girl fidgeted slightly, suddenly nervous under his gaze; however, Zim reached out and took her hand in his and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"Daughter!" Gaz winced, "how _noble_ of you to pursue such an unorthodox method of information gathering by voyaging into the realm of multicultural social interactions! I am a proud father!"

Dib's mouth dropped open in shock.

Gaz just stared.

Zim, realizing he was being talked about, stopped staring vacantly off into space and focused on the towering human across from him.

"_Dad!_" Dib cried, "he's an _extraterrestrial_!"

"Now son, we must learn to adapt to these changing times and accept _all_ social changes, regardless of if we personally agree or not." Professor Membrane said sternly while giving his son a hard look.

If only he could learn to embrace new things like his daughter.

"He's not even _human! _He doesn't even have a _nose!"_

"Now that's just hurtful," Zim said in mock pain—though the professor took it sincerely—as he gasped and held a hand over his heart.

"Now you've offended Gaz's new boyfriend," the Professor said with disdain as he eyed Dib pitifully. "You should apologize and then go help your relatives with the dinner preparations."

"Isn't it your turn tonight Dad?" Dib questioned, refusing to give Gaz any form of apology for—in his eyes—her grave betrayal of the human race in general and her own personal humanity in particular.

"Don't question _science_ son! Just do as it commands!"

"Bu-"

"_Don't_ question it! Now hurry to the kitchen!"

Gaz and Zim just smirked as the angry young man made his way to the kitchen.

* * *

"What are you up to?" Gaz questioned her boyfriend later that night after lunch as she sat down on his lap in the side room that he had chosen to sulk off into. Dinner had concluded a few hours prior and now that the alcohol was being passed out—and Gaz was making a true effort at _trying_ to be sober while dealing with her family—she had decided to come check on the Irken.

The day had gone much like it normally had for Gaz on Thanksgiving, though she had spent a little less time with her father for once and tried to enjoy her unexpected time with Zim. Sadly, the green alien in disguise was forced to sit through the endless trials of a new boyfriend—namely all the elderly trying to speak their minds to him about any and every random bit of information they could think of—while also being interrogated by a number of semi-older adults.

Gaz had just kept her grin hidden and clandestinely flipped Zim off when she could. Just because they were a couple didn't mean she wasn't going to let him be doomed a few times over. Plus, Zim confused everyone—which Gaz found hilarious—and generally deflected the attention she normally had to put up with.

"It seems the Dib-dooky is up to no good again," Zim muttered as he indicated the camera feed projected on his computer screen. The feed was most likely coming from an uplink with one of Zim's many spy bots floating around—she found Zim's camera mania to be creepily endearing rather than disturbing.

"_I'm telling you, Zim is up to no good!_"

Whoever Dib was talking to on the phone spoke back and the man grumbled something in return. That must not have pleased the person on the other line, because Dib winced and offered a number of apologies before he was finally forgiven.

"_I know _you_ don't care, but Zim _can't_ date my sister! You _know_ he has to be planning for...for world domination or-or trying to get at me somehow or something!_"

Gaz glared at the screen, her brother had to be the most conceited person on the earth.

"_I'm just asking for a favor! I helped you out, now you have to do the same! That's how that works!_" Dib cried into the phone, looking angry as he glared at the phone. Perhaps it was a camera call instead of just a plain ear-and-mouth connection.

"Can you trace his call?" Gaz questioned her boyfriend as she watched in growing interest. That Dib would be a pain about her relationship with Zim was understandable and expected. That he would throw fits and try and find ways to ruin said relationship was also planned for. They had even anticipated Dib trying to recruit others to aid him. But this sounded like Dib was trying to blackmail someone who had more to lose than he did.

Who the hell was he talking to?

"_Look, just think about it and call me back...please? Hello? HELLO!?_"

Apparently they had hung up; Dib swore and threw the phone in his anger.

"_Who threw that!_" Someone shouted in anger after the sound of glass shattering filtered in over the speakers moments after Gaz and Zim heard the actual thing happen in the next room.

Dib bolted from the backyard and ran for the safety of his room, screaming like a girl the whole way.

* * *

Gaz grunted a thank you as Aunt Laruen gave her a brief hug, the dark girl—thankfully done with the cruel ritual of wishing goodbyes to the people she never seemed to really be rid of in her life—turned and made her way to Zim's 1989 Trans Am. Plopping herself down in the passenger seat, the couple watched as the few remaining family members waved their hands awkwardly before Zim floored the accelerator.

The house and the property vanished in the near super-sonic wake of Zim's hybrid. The speed gauge read that the car was moving at roughly 190mph, but Gaz knew that the Irken machinery hidden inside was really pushing them up into the middle 200's.

At least Zim knew how to cheer her up.

Her father had left a few hours before them, being one of the first to leave due to his need to 'continue the great expansions of SCIENCE' before his workers grew soft with their 'unnecessary, but government approved, time off.'

The scientist had, however, been sure to say goodbye to his daughter and _her_ little foreign friend who used to be Dib's little foreign friend. As far as Gaz could gather from that statement, her father had somewhat come to understand that Gaz and Zim were dating. In his own weird way.

Dib had left shortly after, he had barely gone through the motions with Gaz, but he had openly ignored Zim. They had just flipped him off as he had backed down the driveway...right into the light pole.

Ah, good times.

"Was the giving of thanks everything you hoped for?" Zim questioned as he drove recklessly down the thankfully empty and open road lanes like he was really the young adult he claimed to be. Thankfully this part of the country was open land for miles, so they were safe from the nightmares that came with the post-Thanksgiving traffic that merged into the even more horrific Black Friday traffic.

"It was...better somehow," Gaz said after a minor pause as she thought over the entire trip. Sure, she had Dib royally pissed off and her family though she was even more crazy than ever, but somehow she had enjoyed it more than any of the previous Thanksgivings.

"Than Zim feels better," the Irken said with a smile and took Gaz's hand and held it with his own as he drove.

Gaz just grunted before laying her head on Zim's shoulder and dozing off into oblivion.


	6. Chapter 6

Gaz still hadn't answered her phone.

Dib was _livid_.

_They _were responsible.

He had done some research into ISU's database and found the deleted video logs. He had to do some serious security sweeps and trace a trail that was over a week old, but he had found them; there had been a lot of stones to flip though.

But he had done it.

**Copying database...**

Dib muttered under his breath as he copied Zim's data trail and checked on his other monitor—this one was slowly cracking into Zim's home computer—and found that the trojan had almost burned its way through the firewall.

**Firewall disabled.**

** System trace detected.**

Dib swore, but moved on as he continued shutting down the mainframe defenses.

** Proxy disabled.**

** Monitor disabled.**

** System trace: 66%**

_How the hell?!_, Dib thought in stunned amazement as Zim's security software began to burn through his computer's own software as if it were kerosene soaked paper on a bonfire.

** Mainframe accessed.**

** File directory accessed.**

Dib found the file he was looking for almost immediately and though he had activated every counter measure he could think of, the data trace was flying towards him.

**System trace: 99%**

_Damn..._

**Downloading...**

**Error found.**

_Fuck!_

** Connection lost.**

Dib groaned in frustration as Zim's computer removed his access and left him out in the cold. He had no proof that the pair were responsible for the international incident that was also the greatest blunder in recent scientific history.

But he knew.

Oh he _knew_.

Gaz just had to pick up her damn _phone_ first.

Scowling, Dib dialed a new number.

* * *

"And with that," Gaz's professor said, eyeing the student who had just had the misfortune to publicly embarrass himself before the entire class, "you are all dismissed. I will see you Thursday, please remember that all grades are final." With that, the man retreated into his office to gather his things.

The room erupted into chaos as people intermingled into groups and passed around answers and grades while others simply made their way out the door.

Zim and Gaz were among the latter group.

"A ninety-five!?" Zim growled in outrage as he glared at his paper in disgust; the Irken had bragged for a solid _month_ about how he was so much better than his girlfriend when it came to data systems. The final test on the material, however, had proven the Irken wrong and Gaz was the one who got to tease Zim for once.

"That's a pretty good grade...for such an _easy_ test." Gaz drawled out as they made their way out of the computer science building and across the campus towards the cafeteria complex.

"THAT TEST WAS RIGGED!" Zim roared angrily while crushing the paper into a ball and throwing it into a nearby trashcan.

"It was _so_ simple though _Zimmy_," Gaz taunted as she gestured at her own test, a solid 100 painted across it.

"Shut up!"

"I mean, _anyone_ with a brain could have figured out question fourteen..."

Zim screamed in frustration at the top of his lungs.

"Hey!"

_The hell?_

Gaz turned to her left and found...him.

Iggens.

"What do _you_ want?" Gaz demanded coldly as she stared at the creature before her.

"I just wanted to let _you_ know, Gazelene, that _I_, IGGINS, received the _only_ one-hundred in the entire class! I am the supreme designer here!"

Gaz stared at the pathetic child.

Zim snickered.

"Why are you laughing at my perfection!?" Iggins demanded as he stared at the two in outrage—and, he believed, private jealousy.

"That...that's a ten Igg-shit..." Gaz commented cruelly as she giggled from behind her hand. Zim chuckled as well and indicated Iggins paper.

"Even someone as foolish as _you_ should know better than to try and best Gaz's intelligence!"

"Didn't you try to do that not even an hour ago?" Gaz questioned, turning away from Iggins to glance up at her boyfriend.

"Yes? What? It's different for _me_!" Zim complained as he glared down at her.

"Hey!" Iggins cried again, infuriated at the realization that his grade was actually the _lowest _in the class and that he was once again being ignored by his dreamgirl.

"What?" Gaz and Zim said in unison.

"Don't just ignore me!" Iggins cried in rage.

"It's kind of easy actually..."

"Once you get past the prissy voice of course," Zim commented as he held Gaz's hand tighter, both to assert himself and to comfort Gaz. He was well aware how the gothic weapon of terror felt about the annoying cretin and his constant attacks on her attention.

The bastard had challenged Gaz to a Duel of the Game Slave—foolish but admirably brave—with the bet of either Gaz getting the last can of Vamp—sold only in select retailers nationwide—or Iggins getting a date.

After Gaz had soundly reminded the blonde who _really_ ruled the computer realm, the purple haired woman had taken her drink and left Iggins to his misery.

Sadly he had brought the misery back to Gaz, under some false pretense that he could continue to challenge her for that date under the delusion that the bet was unfairly settled.

"SHUT UP! IT'S NOT PRISSY!"

"Kind of is..." Gaz said dryly before turning away and walking with Zim towards the cafeteria once again.

"You will rue this day Gazelene! I _will_ best you one day and you _will_ go on that date with me!"

Gaz just flipped him off.

* * *

_It's too easy, I'm freaking out._

Gaz felt Zim bumping against her as the music thumped in her veins like the strongest form of alcohol.

_ You are the medic, I know your anatomy._

Her body was on fire and the beat was making her move like a siren as the bass boomed out across the room.

_ It's like a movie, you should win an academy._

He grabbed her hips and spun her around so that they could grind front to front. The alcohol in their hands were all but forgotten as she wrapped her free hand around his neck and bit him _hard_.

_ I throw up a salary up when you straddle me._

Zim groaned and dropped his cup and wrapped both arms around her loosely to increase their dancing tempo.

_ Too much alcohol._

The beat picked up and the bass drops exploded as the house party crowd grew wild.

_ Too many women every night._

Gaz met Zim in a heated kiss just as the music began to die.

_ It's a replay, what's happening?_

The beat went up again and they broke apart to continue their wild grinding-style of dance.

_ Oh, my god, I think I'm freaking out._

Zim was muttering in her ear—heartfelt and lustful driven promises of love and desire—as she made a particularly pleasurable move for them both.

_ Too many drinks, too many rounds._

Gaz groaned again and leaned back into Zim's chest, her mouth now near his own as she kissed him in a semi-reversed lip-lock.

_ I'm in the clouds._

The beat was thumping still and Gaz was lost in the worlds of intoxication and Zim.

_ No coming down..._

Her buzzing cellphone remained unanswered. Zim began to move away towards the stairs and Gaz followed eagerly.

_ Oh dude I'm totally freaking out..._

* * *

"We haven't done that in awhile," Zim commented dreamily a few hours later as he and Gaz left the dorm room, their clothes slightly ruffled and their hair screaming 'wild hot sex.'

"We did that last week. Twice." Gaz commented dryly, though a small smirk played at her lips as she adjusted her top and tried—for the tenth time—to straighten her hair. Neither action worked very well, but Gaz figured it was better to try and clean herself up then to just naturally look like she got the life fucked out of her.

"Ah, every time I am with you, I touch _heaven_. My memory would have a hard time at remembering something _that _great." Zim winked as he spoke teasingly in her ear.

Damn. Round three already?

"We...we just left Zim," Gaz said unsteadily, her mind still reeling from the alcohol and the ungodly stamina that they had just recently displayed. Now with Zim's pleasure-laced voice, she was _really_ losing her cool.

"We could always go back?" Zim offered as he wrapped an arm around Gaz's waist, his mouth moving to nip at her ear.

"T-the party is-is over, _Zim_." Gaz said—her statement having duel purposes and her bastard of an alien boyfriend _knew_ this—as she lightly shoved him away, trying to remain defiant despite what she and her body both wanted.

"Bu-"

"No." Gaz said with determination as they made their way downstairs and through the wrecked dorm. The building was covered in slumbering bodies—some clothed, some not—and alcohol in both half filled cups and bottles were laying about everywhere. Fast food and take out was lying about alongside the drinks and an amazingly variety of bright and dull colored 'treats' were laying in half consumed piles.

Someone farted in their sleep and the pair hurried to leave the building before whatever cigarettes were still burning blew the drugged out bungalow to bits.

Zim's Trans Am was parked nearby and the couple made it there with little issue. Zim was a little wobbly still—despite sweating out most of the alcohol at the party—and Gaz was having trouble focusing, but the car started and somehow they ended up at Gaz's dormitory without a high speed chase or some form of collision.

The time was thirty minutes past three when they arrived at Gaz's door. She sluggishly unlocked the door and moved to enter her apartment with Zim at her side. They reeked of numerous odors that the purple haired women didn't even want to think about at the moment and while she began to strip out of her party clothes, Zim moved to the bathroom to start the foam shower.

After she had lost her clothes sans her underwear, Gaz found Zim in a similar state.

"Just a sh-"

Zim had already captured her lips and her already weak walls of resistance fell like sand caught against a tornado as liquid fire spread through her.

* * *

"This is such a waste of time..."

"This is _surveillance!_"

"Sure it is..."

Dib swore and put down his binoculars and glared at his partner. The female glared right back as she lit another cigarette—simply to piss Dib off—and put it between her teeth.

"There is absolutely no reason or asset to be gained from us peeping on your sister." She argued cockily as she took a long and strong drag; she promptly blew the smoke cloud right into Dib's face.

"Agh!" The scythe haired scientist gagged as the foul substance hit his skin and caused his eyes to water and his lungs to hurt. "Stop doing that!"

"No."

"You're impossible!" Dib complained as he gritted his teeth and brought his binoculars back up to his face and scanned the dorm again.

No sign of Gaz and Zim, though he was beginning to wonder if he even _wanted_ to catch sight of them at this point.

Gir was...eating the couch? That was kind of normal actually...

Damn it all.

"Ready to call it a night so I can get out of here?"

"Tak...you really suck."

"You strong-armed me into this, I don't particularly give a damn," the disgraced invader replied pleasantly as she rolled onto her back and stared up at the stars.

"You said you would _help_." Dib stressed as he gestured at the dormitory across the road from their rooftop outpost.

"I _am_ helping." Tak told him as she fiddled with her phone, probably a new text or that picture-messenger app that she obsessed over. "I'm telling you that you're wasting your time. They're obviously drunk and thus no real intel will be gathered aside from what position she likes and how Zim looks naked."

Dib groaned in pain.

"Why!? Why do you have to...to do that!?" Dib cried as he held his head in pain and tried to not picture _either _of those two mental images that Tak had just painted so colorfully for him.

_Especially_ the last one.

"Cause _I _don't want to be _here_."

"Then what do you suppose we do!?" Dib demanded as he through his binoculars onto the ground and rolled over as well.

"Dunno. We could stare at the stars for a bit." Tak offered, feeling somewhat bad about hurting her friend's—she used the term lightly—feelings.

"Yeah...I guess."

The pair just layed there for the next few hours, calmly looking up at the beautiful night and commenting on star formations and just simply talking. Dib told Tak of his more recent activities and the Irken told of her recent trip around Canada, Alaska, and the northeast of Russia.

Neither commented on how close they had gotten as the night wore on—Tak chalked it up to the cold night—nor did they say anything when they caught the other sneaking glances.

They simply enjoyed the night for what it was until they decided to head home.


	7. Chapter 7

_They tell me I'm a bad boy._

Zim and Gaz were in the middle of a house party, their bodies intertwined for the fifth time that night and the alcohol flowing smooth through their veins. The two had been going strong for a solid hour and the music was still blaring despite the noise complaints.

_ I just like to put my hands up in the air._

The crowd threw their hands up in the air as a quick drunken cheer spread throughout the room.

_ I want that girl dancing over there._

_ Look at her go._

Zim grunted as Gaz began to move to the beat, her bare-back gothic shirt and tight jeans doing things to his insides.

_ On the dance floor._

_ Shes amazing._

_ On the dance floor._

The two really began to get into the song as the dj began to increase the tempo of the base drops to the excitement of the populace within the crowded room.

_ When she moves,_

_ Girl I want more._

_ She got me sayin',_

_ Go little bad girl._

Gaz spun around and faced Zim, her eyes locked with his and her body grinding against his tightly. The normally withdrawn girl smirked at the breathless alien and continued to move with him to the song.

And then she stopped.

"Gaz?" Zim asked in confusion as his girlfriend glared one of her more hateful glares at someone behind her and stormed off in pursuit. He turned around just in time to see a terrified Dib running for his life.

_ Go little bad girl._

"GAZ!" Dib cried in fear as the purple haired female ran after him, death in her eyes.

_ Go little bad girl._

"AHHH!" The young scientist cried in pain as he felt a grip of steel clamp down on his shoulder. He was spun around forcefully to meet a small but powerful fist; his head snapped back and he saw stars.

_ Go little bad girl.  
_

Zim watched in some sort of amazing combination of pride and lust as his love-pig beat the living shit out of his former-rival. The alien made no move to aid her or save Dib, he was simply too invested in the sight to think of such trivial things.

Dib was left in a bruised and battered heap on the lawn outside as Gaz spat on him and turned to leave.

"I told you to stop spying on me Dib!" Gaz spat in rage as she finally turned around completely and stormed back into the house that the party was being hosted in. None of the drunken party goers made any kind of move to help out the injured man lying on the lawn.

_ Oh yeah they tell me I'm a bad boy._

_ All the ladies look at me and act coy._

_ I just like to put my hands up in the air._

Though she was beyond angry at her brother for his continued—and creepy—surveillance of her love-life, Gaz was also extremely happy. Zim looked like he would ravish her right there on the floor.

And Gaz did like it when Zim became _very_ affectionate.

_ I want that girl dancing over there._

_ Shaking her ass,_

_ From the left._

_ To the right._

Gaz returned to Zim and they resumed their heated dancing as if nothing had ever interrupted it—though their tempo might have increased just a bit—and Gaz once again felt at peace.

She didn't terribly like the parties that Zim had grown so fond of, but she _did_ like Zim and his more wild side. And if dancing while wasted got her that, she would—and, more often than not, did—do it every night.

_ Moving it round just the way that I like._

_ She got it how I want it,_

_ And I want it all night._

Gaz felt Zim's hands ghost over her bare back and she shuddered pleasantly before pulling him closer and kissing him fiercely. If the endgame of the night hadn't been apparent earlier, it was neon-obvious now.

Zim just smiled.

_ Look at her go._

_ Shes amazing._

_ On the dance floor._

Dib groaned painfully as a sleek corvette pulled up beside him and the driver got out. Tak just grimaced at him and helped him limp into the passenger seat.

"I told you that spying on her like that would just end badly."

"I...man...girls hit _hard_." Dib muttered as he just tried not to _move _at all.

WHACK!

"What the hell!"

"Just wanted to make sure you would remember that," Tak said with a sly smile as Dib groaned in more pain.

"Hell no."

The corvette hit ninety-five and Dib closed his eyes in an attempt to stave off the pain that was coming at him from everywhere. Gaz had never been a particularly nice woman, but she had really done a number on him this time. Tak thankfully just decided to focus on the road and getting them back to her house. Dib was_ not _in the mood to handle more teasing or blows to his male ego.

Things had remained icy between the Membrane siblings since thanksgiving and the rocky truce that Dib had made with Zim was—in his eyes anyways—long overdue to be ripped to shreds. The paranormal investigator had called up every file and document he had ever made on Zim in an attempt to find something—_anything—_to bring down Dib's renewed rival.

Sadly, nothing had panned out and all attempts at intelligence gathering had resulted in Dib and his equipment being broken. Tak had helped him out of course, but she was tired of this pointless crusade. Zim—though she _loathed_ him—was under the protection of Gaz and even _she_ knew that wasn't something to be crossed lightly.

Plus, Zim _deserved_ his cruel and evil bondmate; she would hopefully bring about justice for her and kill him in his sleep if she was lucky.


	8. Chapter 8

Grunt.

Grunt.

Grunt.

_Clink. Clack._

Zim let out a massive grunt as soon as he returned the barbell to the hooks above his head attached to the metal bars likewise attached to the bench he was laying on. One of his football friends, Derrick, nodded in approval and handed him a rag to wipe the sweat off his face.

"Not bad man," he said as Zim slowly maneuvered himself out from under the bar and the two switched places. Derrick now lay under the bar, preparing to do reps, while Zim stood behind him as the spotter.

"Three hundred will be mine, it will!" Zim complained as the human easily knocked out his reps with the bar. The irken did not take offense to the fact that the lineman was able to lift 280 easier then he could. Derrick was over two hundred pounds and ate more in a day than Zim would eat all week. In comparison, Zim was solid muscle and could run faster than him.

Thus Derrick got to smash his head into meaty dirt-stinks while Zim got to run the ball into the end zone.

"Yeah, sure you will. Just like Mary will agree to blow me at any moments notice." Marco, a punter on the team, joined in from his position nearby doing arm curls.

"That could happen." Derrick grunted out as he set the bar back on the hooks and switched with Zim once more. "Spring break is right around the corner," he added with a smirk.

"True," Marco agreed as he returned his weights to their rack and retrieved an even heavier set. "You're coming, right man?"

Zim nodded in agreement as he slid under the bar and grasped it with both hands. Even though he had been working out for the past hour, he barely felt it. Much like how earthly sugars were nutritious to him, the mixtures that the humans knew as pre-workouts gave him a boost that was almost ungodly.

Lowering the bar all the way to his chest, he began the first of his reps as the conversation continued.

"This year will be insane," Derrick chipped in, "we're supposed to get the penthouse since that new guy Trevor has connections. And with the free bar, we can almost triple the booze fund!"

"Hell yeah!" Marco agreed heartily.

Zim had honestly never thought much of spring break during his early years on earth. He had seen it as yet another cursed holiday that the cursed humans embarked on each cursed year. Then he had gotten into college—and at the time he was already _well_ aware of what alcohol did to him—and he had learned the truth of the break in spring.

The alcohol alone was enough to make him go just to get his fill of the luxurious and nutritious substance. The beach scene wasn't the greatest place to be for a person with no nose, belly button, or sporting green skin; however, the party goers were normally so drunk that they didn't even notice. With the general mayhem that accompanied spring break, a man painted in green was hardly the weirdest thing witnessed.

In all actuality, some of the more intoxicated girls Zim had met were actually _turned_ _on_ by it. Zim—who had only been borderline tentative friends with Gaz at the time—had taken the time to explore the female anatomy rather _intimately_. He had been disgusted with their weak stamina and had been even further repulsed by their submissive nature.

Gaz had _really_ been a much needed change.

And speaking of Gaz, this would be the first time that they would go on spring break together.

He would get to see Gaz in a bikini—or hopefully nothing at all—for nearly a week straight. They would get to have all the drunken sex he could ever want.

He was looking forward to the beach more and more.

* * *

"Hell no," Gaz said simply as she played her gameslave one handed while talking to Dib at the same time.

It was Vampire Piggy Hunter classic, it wasn't like she needed to focus to play it.

"I'm just worried about what might happen, that's all Gaz!" Dib complained as he tried for the hundredth time in the last week to keep his sister home for the upcoming break.

"I know exactly what _might_ happen and none of it concerns you _anyways_," Gaz replied scathingly as she sniped a pig from across the open-world's battlefield.

"Gaz, _please_ just stay here for spring break! We'll go to bloaties every day! I'll buy you any video game you want! I'll...uh...give you the remote for life?"

She rolled her eyes and preformed a triple decapitation with her spinning blade at the same time.

"Look Dib, I'm going, you just need to learn to live it. Hell, you don't even have to do that. You just need to move back to big-brain university."

Gaz could picture her brother clutching at his head as he screamed "IT'S NOT BIG DAMN IT!"

She hung up and cackled evilly.

Zim chose that moment to reach down and plant a sweaty kiss on her neck. He reeked of his own version of sweat, so she knew he had been at the gym. Judging by the tingling sensation he had just left her with, he was horny.

Though, Zim was almost _always_ horny of course.

"Hello smelly. Good work out?" Gaz questioned as she paused her game and turned around to kiss her boyfriend properly.

"Very." Zim said as he allowed himself to be pulled over the couch and land in a heap on the cushions. His disguise—a more life-like and semi-permanent one—would have to be washed off with a special soap, so Gaz contented herself with running her hands through his black hair in place of stroking his antennae.

"We talked about spring break," Zim continued as he wearily traced Gaz's thighs with his fingers. Much like when he over consumed alcohol, Zim got sleepy and dazed when he ingested protein shakes and muscle supplements due to the high level of nutrients his body gained.

"Don't even start, Dib has been lecturing me on it for the past hour. I can't even enjoy the image of you shirtless right now, so just don't bring it up." Gaz complained as she leaned down to kiss him in an effort to convey that she didn't mean for him to take personal offense to her bad mood.

Zim hummed—something that always led to deeper kissing—and slowly twisted Gaz onto his own sweaty self. The kissing did deepen and soon Zim's clothes began to disappear and his girlfriend's were quick to follow.

"Shall we take a shower?" Zim questioned as he nipped Gaz teasingly while rising from the couch slightly.

"I think I have a few dirty acts to preform before we clean ourselves up," Gaz said with a hazy smirk as Zim felt his squeedily-spooch flip wildly.

Oh he really couldn't wait for spring break.

* * *

"We need to go after them." Dib said simply as he and Tak lounged in her living room shortly after Gaz had hung up on him.

Tak merely raised an eyebrow at her friend as she tried to focus on the television before her. Dib had been showing her an odd show that he liked and she had to admit it was intriguing.

If only he would stop raving about Gaz and Zim; as much as she hated her fellow Irken, it was honestly getting rather old.

"Tak, if we go to the beach with them, then we can sabotage Zim and Gaz will break up with him!" Dib continued excitedly.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged, "If you want to go and try and break them up, I wont stop you." She said as she raised the volume on the television with the remote. "Besides, there's bound to be plenty of hot guys there," she teased as Dib grew red in the face.

"Y-You can't go messing around with random hot guys!" Dib sputtered in shock as he stared at the blue haired Irken in disguise.

"And why not?" Tak said with a crooked smile as she cocked her head to one side and stared at Dib slyly.

Dib froze.

He hadn't really thought that far ahead.

"Uh...Uh...You h-have to help watch m-my back!" He said at last, a triumphant smile on his features.

Tak smirked and turned back to the show they had been watching. "Alright Dib, whatever you say," she chuckled.

* * *

Zim helped Gaz load up the last of their bags into the back of the RV while several other members of their trip did the same. The group they were traveling with had rented out two RVs—party buses as he heard them called several times now—and a small trailer which had been attached to the back of the smaller RV.

Everything from the standard beer and liquor to the more legally questionable pot and ecstasy had been jammed into every thinkable crevice the twenty five odd college students could think of.

Gaz had already claimed a spot for herself at one of the bolted down tables in the lead RV. Her game slave was plugged into a wall outlet and her headphones hung loosely around her neck. The purple haired goth was only partially paying attention to her game though, the majority of her attention was focused on Zim.

The alien was currently in the middle of a game of rage cage with several of his football buddies and a few other members of their trip.

Yeah, openly drinking while they drove down one of the most heavily patrolled highways on the way to the beach. On the eve of spring break. What brilliant people she was traveling with.

The game went on for awhile—they reset a couple of times due to potholes in the road—and Zim laughed wildly as he made one of his friends throw up after expertly lining up the cups. As his jock friend ran heaving into the small bathroom, the former invader made his way over to Gaz's table. A few other people had already claimed seats, but room was made hastily for him as he slid next to his girlfriend.

"Kill anything interesting yet?" Zim asked, his breath reeking of beer as he nuzzled Gaz's neck. The normally withdrawn girl had fight off a fierce blush as her boyfriend peppered her with drunken affection. Granted, Zim wasn't drunk in the traditional sense, but he was very much amped up on the nutrients burning through his body.

"Not yet, but you should join me" Gaz said simply as she paused her game. Zim wasted no time in fishing out his own game slave and connecting to her server. The purple haired girl settled into a more comfortable position leaning on Zim's chest as they fell into the easy mindset of master gamers for the rest of the trip.


	9. Chapter 9

_ Popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard._

_When we drink we do it right, gettin slizzard.  
_

_ Sippin' sizzurp in my ride, like three 6.  
_

_ Now I'm feeling so fly like a G6!_

Zim was well past gone as he downed what had to have been the twentieth cup of the day for him. He had no idea what the contents within the cup were, all he knew was that it tasted delicious and that his body was burning with nutrients and a positive vibe he had not fealt in some time.

The bass was booming across the small room as the party raged on; people were crowding the television and watching cartoons and laughing wildly; others were surging out on the balcony, relishing the fresh air and the moonlight; a crowd had gathered in the kitchen where Marco was displaying his skill at shot pouring; and finally a group had gathered around the penthouse's large dining table for a drinking game.

_ Gimme that Mo-Moet,  
_

_ Gimme that Cry-Crystal._

It was at this table that Zim was currently chasing what he believed had been a vodka and whiskey mixture with what he was guessing to be patron and smirnoff. Even for the alien, the game was taking its toll.

He downed another cup and sputtered briefly as he tried to figure out where it had even come from. Before he had a chance to dwell on that, another cup was there. He grabbed it and with a roar he slammed it back. The crowd cheered and Zim grinned triumphantly as he watched his opponent spew all over the table.

There were both boo's and a couple cheers as Zim stumbled off.

_ Drink it up, drink-drink it up,  
_

_ When sober girls around me, they be acting like they drunk!  
_

_ They be acting like they drunk, acting-acting like they drunk!  
_

_ When sober girls around me, they be acting like they drunk!_

Gaz was waiting for him at the edge of the crowd watching the drink off, in her hands a bottle of cherry flavored vodka. The goth was smiling softly at him, sharing his victory with him.

The sight made him want to take her right there, but he withheld. There would be plenty of that this week as it was.

"May Zim have this dance?" Zim asked as he gently nudged her towards the lounge room across the suite. There was a large open space that had been set aside for dancing and a pole had been set up in one corner for any girl who fealt so daring.

Quite a few had actually taken up the challenge.

_Sippin on, sippin on sizz, Ima ma-make it fizz.  
_

_ Girl I keep it gangsta, Popping bottles at the crib!_

Gaz smirked as she was led into the center of the room and Zim took her around the waist. He gently swayed her side to side before twirling her and then—completely disregarding basic physics for someone who had consumed his own weight in alcohol—dropped her to the floor before flinging her into another spin. They sashayed a couple times before spining again before moving in close and just being _there_.

She laughed as they danced and the smile shifted from the corners of her mouth to her eyes as Gaz allowed the alcohol in her system to propel her into her lover's arms.

_This is how we live, every single night  
_

_ Take that bottle to the head, and let me see you fly_

Across the room, seated at the kitchen bar was Dib. The scythe haired man was nursing a cup full of tequila and orange juice; he had been draining it liberally ever since he had arrived earlier that night. The group Gaz and Zim had come down with had shown up around noon and had been partying since.

Beside him, Tak was sipping straight vodka—the cheap, burning kind, not the smooth stuff—and was eyeing a new drinking game that was forming with interest.

"They're disgusting." Dib grumbled as he drank from his solo cup, grimacing at the taste and cursing whoever had made it as he did so. Mixing was an art form and whoever had been making the drinks was obviously new at it. That, or he just hated Dib. Both were entirely possible at this point.

Tak sighed and grabbed Dib by the sleeve of his shirt and led him away from the sight of his sister and Zim dancing.

It was time to get her friend _very_ fucked up.

_Hell Yeah!  
_

_ Drink it up, drink-drink it up,  
_

_ When sober girls around me, they be acting like they drunk!_

"Alright! If your partner can't handle their drink you lose!" The man—Tak had heard him called Derrick-shouted drunkenly as he held up a handle of whiskey as if it were some sort of king's spear.

"DRINK ON!"

_ Its that 808 bump, make you put yo hands up!  
_

_ Make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up!_

Dib took a cup and with his hand tied to Tak's they both downed its contents. Tak was an experienced drinker and handled it well enough—her Irken genes helped here—and Dib was already a little sloshed, so he didn't feel the burning sensation that some of the others were feeling.

_ Its that 808 bump, make you put yo hands up!  
_

_ Make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up!_

The next cup came and they downed it. Then another and the same thing happened. By the fourth cup they had already had one team drop. By the sixth another two pairs had dropped. Dib actually fealt a grin spread across his face as they finished their eighth cup.

_Its that 808 bump, make you put yo hands up!  
_

_ Make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up!_

_Hell yeah, make you put yo hands up!  
_

_ Make you put yo hands up, put yo put yo hands up!_

Dib and Tak pushed through to their tenth cup before Dib fealt light-headed. By the eleventh he was starting to have trouble bringing the cup to his lips. Tak noticed his hesitation and hit him in the stomach out of drunken anger, causing Dib to nearly puke.

Shaking it off, they drained their twelfth cup. And then their thirteenth. They were only one couple away from winning the game and everyone was cheering like crazy. It was an insane amount of alcohol to consume, but then again, it _was_ spring break.

Then Dib _did_ puke.

_Now I'm feeling so fly like a G6,  
_

_ Like a G6, Like a G6!  
_

_ Now I'm feeling so fly like a G6._

* * *

Zim and Gaz had ended up wandering off from the party and the resort itself. They found themselves laying on the sand by the ocean, semi-coherent as they giggled and traded light kisses. The moon hung low over the water, illuminating the beach in a romantic way.

"We're so dumb," Gaz snickered drunkenly as she flung sand at Zim. She hated romance, romancing, and couples in their entirety. Yet here she was, on spring break—something she had sworn to never stoop too—with a boy on a romantic beach escapee.

What a twist of fate.

"I'll gladly be dumb for the rest of my life if its with you," Zim said happily as he smirked at her before pinning her to the sand. Gaz fealt her breath hitch as she looked up into his black eyes, the red barely escaping through the semi-permanent disguise.

One of her hands broke free from his and grabbed him around the back of the neck. Without a word said between them, she brought him down to meet her lips with his own in a passionate lip lock. The two stayed like that for a long moment; not breathing; not twisting; nothing. They just kissed and enjoyed every minute of it.

Then Zim's hand graced over a sensitive part of Gaz's anatomy and the purple haired girl _moaned_. What followed was a flurry of clothes and animistic urges being satisfied until the two were nothing more than a heap of sweaty flesh on a deserted beach at three in the morning.

"Zim..." Gaz whispered as he held her.

"Mmm?"

"I'll be dumb with you for the rest of my life too."


	10. Chapter 10

_Gaz, Zim is going surfing. You look beautiful while you're asleep. Shit...that sounds creepy. But it's still true. You are very beautiful, my love pig. This has become far too drawn out a note. Regardless, Zim will hopefully be back before you are awake and will thus be able to destroy this damnable piece of garbage._

_ Love Zim._

Zim scowled at the note he left beside Gaz's head on her bedside table as he cursed himself for his inability to properly coordinate his thought processes while thinking of the Gaz. After he was done beating himself up, the Irken quietly slipped past a number of passed out forms on the floor of "their" bedroom and made his way into the main living room of the suite.

Marco and Derrick were standing by the front door clad in swimsuits and tank tops with flip flops having just recently been dug out from their bags and put on their feet.

"Let's _kill_ this _shit_!" Marco exclaimed somewhat softly as he tried not to waken the house that was literally covered in a carpet of unconscious party goers who had been unable to find their way home the night—or morning—prior.

"Shut it, I have the worst fucking hangover right now," Derrick complained as he shoved past the punter, his face slightly paler than normal now that Zim looked at him closely. Following after the lineman, the other human and the disguised Irken made their way to the bank of elevators that would lead them down to the ground floor of the resort.

"The waves look awesome," Marco continued on as he eyed the beach through the glass of the elevator they had boarded.

"Yes, we shall "hang the tens!"" Zim stated confidently as he too eyed the beach that was growing larger and larger below them.

Marco and Derrick exchanged glances, but said nothing. They had long since gotten used to the runner's odd vocabulary and had likewise long ago decided that anyone who could drink and party like Zim was okay in their book.

Plus his girlfriend was nice as _hell_ to look at.

The trio were soon on the beach and—boards in hand—they dropped their personal belongings and shed their tank tops and sandals from their bodies before entering the water and paddling out to the larger waves and beyond.

The semi-permanent disguise had been one of the few things—he had decided upon later reflection—that Zim truly considered worthwhile to report to his Tallest upon reaching the final stages of research and production.

The design was simple enough on the molecular level that even a basic matter generator could create one in a pinch given the proper sequence and coding. While Irkens rarely ran into environments that were actually hostile to their bodies outside of a combat sense, the rare occasion did arise.

Such as Earth and its foul water.

Zim had spent nearly two years perfecting the equipment—much of it in secret—following the _horrible_ water gun incident that had nearly seen his untimely demise. Zim had thus devoted a rather hefty seventeen percent of his rapidly depleting resources to the suits development.

It had paid off immensely.

While he still had fears of water and its terrible burning strength, Zim was near-completely water proof in the skin tight armor. It also doubled as a better disguise, as he was able to better cement in his looks and hair to his frame. And with the help of the Gaz much later on, he had been able to install a life-like sensitivity skeleton-skin-mesh to the armor to allow him to feel the outside world better while buried in the second skin.

If he had possessed the technology earlier, he could have passed off as more human if he had desired it. Sadly, too many people knew him as he was currently, so he was forced to remain a green skinned defect with no belly button or nose.

Zim had, upon finishing with the preliminary testing of the suit in early middle school, sent the designs and data on the suit to the Tallest. He had expected a promotion or at the very least some sort of reward or words of accolade for his discovery.

He had of course been ignored and politely tolerated like he always was before the Tallest once again told him they had another call to take and would await his next report.

That had—again looking back—been one of the earlier signs of his impending termination from the empire.

With a cry, Derrick shot forward and began to ride a wave on his board as Marco called encouragement from his place beside Zim.

To his surprise, Zim realized he was offering his own encouraging words as well.

How strange. This odd attachment he had made with having relationships with humans was strange.

But he welcomed it with an oddly fervent attitude.

Marco soon followed after the lineman and, before Zim knew it, he too was soon giving out a war cry as he rode into a forming wave.

* * *

**Loading packages.**

** Scanning software.**

** Initiating programs.**

Gaz glanced at the discarded note on her bedside table—which she had tenderly handled upon finding after waking up "alone" in "their" bedroom. By "alone," she meant that Zim _wasn't_ there and a half dozen sleeping morons _were_.

She should probably be mad that her boyfriend had left her alone with a bunch of hungover idiots to go surfing with his buddies. But she knew that Zim neither wanted to leave her, nor did he want to go surfing.

Plus who the hell thought Gazlene Membrane needed _protection_?

But he was determined to both rid himself of his fear of water—or at the very least master his control over that fear—and to give her space while they were on vacation. While it was true that she had gone on this stupid trip because of Zim, she also knew that if they spent every waking moment screwing—and there had been a _lot_ of screwing—they would only end up pissy with each other.

In a way, she was touched.

** Preparing Slave System...**

In another way, she was pissed.

Several soft clicks could be heard as her fingers moved fluidly across the keyboard. A collection of beeps followed as she watched a number of readouts and loading bars flash by.

** Establishing net...**

** Syncing with external servers...**

** Connecting...**

** Connection established.**

A rainbow of colors and a river of data appeared before her eyes as she flew through the various commands and codes needed. Her fingers delicately clicking the keys on her laptop sounded more like gunfire than Zim's video game avatar.

Her fluid movements increased in activity as her target was reached. She hit a few more keys and watched as more code flew across the screen.

** Running Slave System...**

** Firewall disabled.**

** System trace detected.**

** Proxy disabled.**

** Monitor disabled.**

** System trace: 42%**

** Mainframe accessed.**

Her breathing slowed slightly as she concentrated on slipping through the digital systems and the traps that accompanied them. She found the directory she was searching for and clicked on it. A buzz went off as the trace ran past fifty percent and she muttered a swear under her breath as she began her counterattack in haste.

** System trace: 67%**

** Directory accessed.**

** C2A1/1 acknowledged.**

** C2A1/2 acknowledged.**

** C2A1/3 acknowledged.**

** C2A1/4 acknowledged.**

** All C2A1 nodes acknowledged.**

** Isolating files...**

** Files isolated.**

Gaz hit several keys in a rapid fire manner as she smirked upon hearing her custom-installed death cry seep out of her laptop speakers.

** Deleting...**

** System trace stopped.**

** Admin password accepted.**

She bit her lip unconsciously as she flipped through the camera screens and moved the security devices this way and that as she searched for her wayward boyfriend. Some might consider it odd—maybe even _creepy—_that Gaz was spying on her boyfriend with a resort's hacked camera feeds from the comfort of "their" bedroom.

To Gaz it was just exercising her talents and watching out for her dumbass of an alien boyfriend.

It took her relatively no time at all to find the green skinned man on the sandy beach among all the humans. That didn't surprise her.

What _did_ surprise—and anger—her was what she saw _nearby_ watching _Zim_ as well.

* * *

"It's just odd."

Tak rolled her eyes as she stared at her companion with a mixture of patient understanding and concealed glee.

Dib Membrane was a mess.

After he had puked up enough vomit to fill more than a few toilets, Dib had announced he was dead and dropped face first to the floor.

Tak—being Tak—had left the boy to fend for himself for the better part of four hours. After that, she had allowed the small bit of her heart that he had wormed away from her to talk her into picking—really dragging—the scythe-haired boy to a nearby couch in a somewhat abandoned adjacent room.

She had honestly intended to leave him there and return to the party so that at least _she_ could have some fun at long last. Instead, Dib had grabbed her and pulled her to him to use as a very uncomfortable pillow. Tak wouldn't have really minded if his mouth didn't smell like some sort of foul outhouse in the middle of the mid-west.

Regardless, she had weathered the stench and found herself falling into a somewhat comfortable sleep by the time she was certain Dib wasn't about to die on her. She had awoken before he had and was quick to untangle herself from him.

After finding and securing a shower for herself, Tak had woken Dib up and helped him near-literally crawl to the bathroom to take a shower himself. While he was cleaning up, she had found the insanely over-prepared hangover station that had been set up in one of the smaller kitchens of the suite and brought aspirin and gatorade back as Dib was finishing changing.

The two had spent the morning hunting down an establishment that could serve somewhat edible breakfast before returning to the beach to try and let the sea-breeze liven their battered bodies up with some fresh air.

"I'll admit," Tak started to say as the pair watched the person on the waves that held their undivided attention, "that while I do hate him to the core of my being, he _really_ does have a...what is the Earthling expression? A _massive pair of balls_? Yes?"

Dib groaned and waved at Tak in a manner that let her know he didn't want _that_ particular phrasing to be used again.

"He's just a big idiot. Even if he has some all-mighty water-proof suit on." Dib stated simply as he drank more water from the to-go cup he had brought with him.

"Nothing is fool-proof." Tak reminded him, "if _you_ had a vacuum-sealed and semi-armored suit, would you still agree to go surfing on _acid_?"

Dib frowned at her.

"He's still stupid."

"_I_ never said he wasn't." Tak replied in an almost sing-song tone while she smirked as she leaned into Dib just a bit. It wasn't overly affectionate.

But it still made them both blush.

* * *

Zim returned from the beach slightly salty and a little irritable. It wasn't that it could actually bother him on a physical level. But the dirtiness and the water dripping off him just _millimeters_ from his actual skin left him on a whole other level of freaked-out and jumpy.

But he had conquered the surf once again. He had "hung the ten" like the rest and best of them and had managed to show no true fear while doing so. In his mind it was a victory.

As he passed his bed without a glance other than to confirm there was still a bundle under the sheets sleeping peacefully, Zim closed the bathroom door and stripped out of his clothes. He couldn't remove the synthetic skin as this was the one time out of the year where he was denied access to a matter generator or any of the other technology he would need to reapply his disguise after he removed it from his form.

As such, he chose to just rough it out until the week was over.

Startling him out of his thoughts, a small, firm, but very soft, hand grabbed him in a _very_ pleasing way and did something that was even _more_ pleasurable.

"G-Gaz?" Zim cried out as the purple-haired temptress slid out of nowhere and was soon on her knees on the bathroom floor, her onyx eyes staring up at him in such a sultry way and tempting fashion that his knees literally buckled.

"I missed you," she said with a small, _small_, tug.

"D-damn it all I missed you t-too!" Zim gasped out as he swore in Irken.

That had been a bad idea. Swearing in Irken—like many things the former-invader had come to realize—was something that _really_ got Gaz going.

"_Well_," Gaz began with a smirk as she did something that took all of Zim's limited breath away, "the _next_ time you leave with just a shitty—but _nice—_note as your only token of goodbye will be the _last_ time _this_ happens," she teased before taking him into her mouth.

Zim couldn't agree with her quick enough.

* * *

It was some time later that Zim and Gaz stumbled out of the steamed-out shower and collapsed onto the bed.

Because of the body-strewn nature of the suite's rooms, they had made sure they were semi-decent before emerging. But the state of their hair and the marks on their bodies couldn't have gone over even the purest of Indian monks head.

"Are you ready to go get lunch?" Zim remarked with a light pant flooding in as he pulled the demonic woman closer to him.

"You think they have pizza near here?" She remarked slyly as she nuzzled into his neck.

"I hope to your Earthly God that they do." Zim remarked with a smirk, "Zim still remembers when you demolished half of the campus because they canceled Pizza Day..."

* * *

_Dirty mind, _

He stared.

_Dirty mind,_

He just stared.

_ D-d-d-d-dirty mind._

Zim couldn't help it. Maybe it was the song blaring out across the beach from the concert-like platform set up a couple hundred feet away.

_D-d-d-d-dirty mind,_

_ She just wants to fuck me all the time._

Damn.

_Damn._

Gaz was laying face down on a towel with her black bikini-top untied, leaving a healthy amount of her chest free and the rest left little to the imagination. Especially if one was _intimately_ familiar with said area of her well defined anatomy.

_ I tried to leave the house but she won't let me out._

They had gone out with several other students from their college to a bar—naturally—and had returned to the resort a little after noon with fresh buzzes and fuller stomachs. After changing, they had returned to the beach to begin the day officially.

_Deadbolts lock got me strapped to the couch._

The beach by now was crowded with all manner of people. They ranged from the common and entertaining college students to the rarer and more morally criticizing vacationing families. There seemed to be more alcohol than water soaking into the sand and the general sex-drive of the younger population was pushing the limits of social acceptance.

_She's got a dirtier mind than my mouth._

Thank the Earth God that Zim was only interested in Gaz. He had seen more than a few of his friends smacked or flat out shoved to the ground after a girl they had been spending time with caught them looking as another woman flashed her chest for all to see with a loud outcry.

_I hate to say the more you fuck the better for your health._

They had been lounging there for maybe two hours and while Zim was enjoying both the time with Gaz and the _view_ she was giving him, he was also becoming rather bothered.

And he was rather certain she knew it too.

"Feeling okay Zim?" Gaz questioned with a coy look in her eyes as she glanced up at the shirtless Irken sitting beside her.

_Dirty mind,_

He _knew_ that look.

_Dirty mind,_

Damn it he had _known_ she was toying with him when she had started to untie her top.

_D-d-d-d-dirty mind,_

_Sunbathing_ his _fucking_ ass.

_She just wants to fuck me all the time._

"Zim feel's quite fine," Zim relied coolly while trying to find a reason to stare anywhere but Gaz's chest.

"Oh," she said teasingly, "I was worried you were distracted by my..._sunbathing._"

"N-nope." Zim affirmed as he focused on a pair of men dressed as penguins sprinted as hard as they could across the sandy beach while chugging beer from hand-held beer funnels.

Rather than respond, Gaz smirked and tossed her top into Zim's lap. He froze up at the sight of it and the implication of what was now in his lap had once been on her chest.

"You can hold on to _that_ for me, right?" She taunted suggestively with a evil glint in her eyes as she—for all the world—looked like she was going to take a nap.

Oh Irk.

* * *

_She wants me at the party, she wants me at the mall,  
_

_ She wants me in the bathroom stall._

Dib glowered as he tried to get a better look at Zim and Gaz through his hand-held camera. Due to the failure of being able to secure accurate proof that Zim was the culprit behind the fiasco at ISU, Dib had decided that his old—if not necessarily tried and true—method of revealing his old foe as an alien to the world would just have to suffice.

Tak, believing such an endeavor both vain and stupid, simply crouched by his side in the bushes as Dib realized just how right she was.

Spring break was fucking weird.

There were all kinds of costumed up people. There were nudists. There were drunken antics that pushed understanding.

He saw things that were illegal. He saw things that were immoral. He saw things that simply shouldn't have happened, yet did.

"What...the...hell...Tak." Dib complained as yet another over-sized man in a skimpy speedo blew by in front of them screaming about how his college was better than anyone elses.

"Told you," Tak snorted as she started to head towards the nearby pool-side bar as she saw something that interested her.

"W-where are you-"

Dib didn't get to finish his question before a girl saw his camera and screamed at the top of her lungs before flinging her top skywards and rushing forward. Within seconds another half-dozen girls had joined in and were screaming something about MTV or some other television show as they chanted spring break.

Tak left the fool to his fate as she sat down at the bar and ordered a tall and very ice-lacking drink for herself.

"Here," he grunted as he handed her what she had requested of him.

Grunting back, a response not being necessary in her mind, she gave him what he had requested before pounding back the drink.

"He's a fucking idiot." He said upon recognizing the moron being near-literally mauled to death by a pack of topless women. There were even a few pant-less men.

Again, spring break was weird at times.

"True," she agreed before paying the fee for her drink and going off to save her "friend."

"What was that about?" Gaz questioned as Zim returned to her.

"Nothing." He said simply before dropping the bikini top on her head with a smirk.

"Let's dance."

* * *

_Hey you, I know what you gonna do._

Zim and Gaz were out on the sand in front of the concert-resembling stage as the song picked up its' tempo. The two were sweating a little, but—to Zim's great, if conflicted, thanks—Gaz had returned her bikini-top to her body.

Thus he was less constrained in his movements below the—_ahem_—belt.

_I wanna be the person that you do it to._

Gaz groaned as Zim nipped at her neck while grinding up against her briefly before returning to the loose spacing between them. She returned the favor by smirking at him with another sultry look before shaking her hips suggestively.

_Hey you, I wanna be the person you do, _

Zim closed the distance between them and caught her lips with his own. Initially it was aggressive and fiery, but it soon cooled to a gentler caress.

Then Gaz bit his lip. Hard.

_Dirty mind,_

Zim spun her around violently and grinded against her again.

_D-d-d-d-dirty mind,_

_ She just wants to fuck me all the time._

* * *

After narrowly escaping a second pack of fame-crazy topless women—that statement alone made Dib question just _what the hell_ he was doing _running away _from half-naked women—Dib and Tak found shelter at another pool-side bar further in the _family_ zone of the beachish landscape. If such a term could really be used during such an alcoholism-fueled week such as this.

"Here," Tak said after handing Dib a frothing beer, "drink this."

Dib, without questioning her for a second, downed the tall glass quickly and with surprisingly little force. He would end up in a AA meeting yet, it seemed.

"I lost Zim and Gaz in the crowd after I went to save your sorry ass," Tak explained, hoping Dib didn't catch the waver in her voice. She normally didn't have trouble lying to people, but for some reason Dib brought out the honest side in her.

"It's fine...I really don't think _I_ want to find them right now anyways," Dib shuddered as he remembered his tragic experience over thanksgiving break after walking in on the odd couple.

Tak smirked, having been filled in on the experience in _far_ more detail than she had wanted. Inwardly she sighed, realizing that if Dib hadn't detected what she had put in his drink, much less that he hadn't even suspected her of doing such a thing at least a little, she had nothing to worry about.

"Well let's get out of here before some mother hen calls the cops," Tak stated upon seeing a rowdy pack of college students hopping the fence and dive-bombing the lazy river nearby.

Dib nodded and tried to get up, only to fall flat to the ground.

Swearing, Tak went to his side immediately as she wondered just how powerful the drug Zim had given her was. She had stated she wanted something to keep him off his vendetta towards Zim for the rest of the week, but she hadn't planned for Zim making it so strong it might have killed him or put him in a coma.

"D-Dib?" She called, unsure of what to do.

"LET'S FUCKING PARTY!" Dib suddenly roared as he leapt to his feet, his eyes dilated and wider than what should have been physically possible for a human. The human then took off at a dead sprint towards some location that she was sure he had no idea how to get there even if he had been in the right state of mind.

Left with no other choice, Tak ran after him.

Damn it all _Zim!_

* * *

Gaz gasped again and grinded hard back against him as she leaned back into him and weaved her arms up his chest and around his neck, pulling him down into another heated kiss.

_I tried to leave the house but she won't let me out._

They broke apart and spun together so that they were face to face once again, their eyes locked in a smoky gaze.

_ Deadbolts lock got me strapped to the couch._

Gaz grinned and kissed Zim quickly before moving away from him, but he followed after her with a hungry smile.

_ She's got a dirtier mind than my mouth._

Gaz grabbed him by the neck and pulled him in for another heated kiss while he pressed her against a wire fence sepearting the party-goers from the more civilized—and family friendly—resort further up the beach.

_ I hate to say the more you fuck the better for your health._

Zim pressed the object he had gotten from Tak against Gaz's side and felt her stiffen at the cool touch of the condo's key.

"_Zim_ is game if _you_ are," he breathed warmly into her ear, causing her to shiver excitedly as she glanced up at him.

"I'm the _embodiment_ of game," she quipped back saucily-despite knowing that this would be the fourth time for them just today alone-before pulling him closer and _grabbing_ him _hard_.

_ D-d-d-d-dirty mind..._


End file.
